Inside Those Eyes

The Footprints In The Sand

The next few days that follow, I am busy with trying to help Niall. I get him in a support group and just do little things for him, like buy him his favorite candy or play a board game. It has not been easy. One night he got so sick from withdrawal, I thought I was going to have to call an ambulance. And the night terrors; I had Liam loan Niall a room next to mine so I could keep an eye on him. The screaming is enough to drive anyone mad, full of pain and anguish for things that visit in the night and hide in the daytime, never knowing when they might spring out to find you again. As the nights drag on, his nightmares seem to lighten, and Niall is able to have portions of rest. I'm proud to say that he has gone a week and a half completely clean. Niall is finally starting to find happiness in his life instead of yearning for his life to come to an end.

It has been worth the sleepless nights and constant support, but it makes me exhausted. I try to stay awake for everyone, but the ever growing stress is really taking a toll on me. It's hard to function, and carrying out a conversation with someone seems like an epic feat. I'm a good enough actor that people who I am not especially close with don't notice. But Harry can see straight through the mask.

"April, I can tell something's up, you seem really stressed. You don't have to tell me what it is, but let me know if there's something I can do to help." Harry offers as I pass him in the hallway.

I think about his offer for a second. "You know there is one thing." I say with a grin.

"Well since you've got that one thing, and I need that one thing, I'll do whatever you want." I love how Harry can always make me laugh.

"Can we drive out to the seashore again? I just need to forget about the world for a while." I have been so busy; I think it would do me good to just spend some time talking alone on the beach. I can tell Harry is pleased with my offer because his face lights up.

"Sure, I'd love that. When do you want to go, now?"

"Yeah, I mean, if you're up to it."

"If I'm with you, I'm up for anything." Slick, Harry, slick.

"Alright, I'll meet you at the garage. I've got to go up to my room and grab my swimsuit."

I run up to my room and run back down in two seconds flat, but Harry has still beaten me to the door.

We get in the car and I let Harry drive, but it seems this time he goes slower, as if enjoying just being in the moment. We talk about light, useless things as I watch the world change before me. I laugh, A LOT, and a weight is lifted off my chest. At one point, I ask Harry to let me drive, and he agrees. Next time he may be more hesitant to let me behind the wheel, my driving skills scare him, I'm just not used to the left side of the road thing.

An hour before sunset we make it to the deserted sandy beach. "Race you to the ocean!" Harry challenges as we go off running, the sand flying behind me. He beats me of course, but he doesn't gloat over his victory for too long. I then sit on the beach, enjoying the sun and Harry's company as he rubs my tense shoulders. I could get used to this.

When the sun starts to set, we stroll hand in hand along the shoreline. As we walk, our footprints leave an indent in the sand. Harry finds this super artistic, so he runs back to the Capri to get the Polaroid he stores in the glove box.

"You know," I say after he has taken a couple pictures, "I really had fun here with you today."

"Really? I didn't annoy you too much?" Harry jokes.

I smile. "No, it's just what I needed."

"You know what I need?" He looks at me with mischief in his eyes.

"What?" I question with a laugh.

"You."

This time I kiss him. His arms surround me and I fall into them. The whole escapes, Harry is my world. I live in the thrill of this kiss, every touch means more. The fire consumes me and I am victim to his every move. My heart lights up, and each second brings me ecstasy. Even when my lips leave his, the feeling lingers. Only now do I allow myself to look inside those eyes.

We walk back to the car; I have never seen Harry so happy. I feel my heart fill with relief, bliss, and delight as we travel back to Liam's cottage with just the stars lighting up the night.

When we arrive to the house, we slip in as quite as can be, careful not to wake anyone. We don't need to say anything to each other, our glances say more. When I get to my room, I lie down in my bed, and get real sleep for the first time in weeks.

The next morning when I wake up, the sun seems brighter, the air seems clearer. I eagerly throw away the bed sheets, excited for the day. On the way down to breakfast, I have a spring in my step. I pass some of the staff, and they look at me funny. Maybe they have been noticing my fatigue and are surprised at my complete transformation.

As I sit at the breakfast table, Charles Edward the Third comes up to serve me, but he acts as if there is a wall between us. I order a meal and wait for Liam, who's usually here before me. 45 minutes pass, and I finally have to ask Charles Edward why Liam's not here.

"Mr. Payne has chosen to dine in his room this morning, miss." He states, with no emotion in his voice.

That's odd, Liam usually looks forward to breakfast. Maybe he has a lot of work to catch up on.

I go back to my room and wait for him to come say hello. I wait and wait and still no sign of him coming to see me. I decide to go say hi to him myself, and to find out what's going on. I walk up to his room and knock on his door. I hear a faint, "Come in."

Inside I find Liam with a look of shock on his face. He's sitting at his desk, holding what looks to be a magazine. As I walk up to him, he drops the magazine on the desk so I can look at it. What I see makes my heart stop.

On the glossy cover is a picture of me and Harry kissing at the beach yesterday. There are multiple tiny pictures that accompany it, like us walking hand in hand, and Harry taking photos. In big, bold letters are the words, "Has Harry Found Love?"

I sit there and just stare at it, not believing what I am seeing. How could have someone gotten those pictures, we were alone the whole time. The only thing I could think of is that someone had hidden behind some of the rocks bordering the overhang; we wouldn't have been able to see them from there.

Liam doesn't look at me; he keeps his eyes on the periodical. "Give me one good excuse for this, anything, and I promise I'll believe it." Liam says with pain resonating in his voice.

This all took me by surprise, and there is no reasonable excuse. "I can't." I can barely get out the words.

He takes in a breath. "So it's real then?" I let my silence answer his question.

Abruptly, Liam stands up and looks me straight in the face, although I keep my gaze on the ground. "Tell me you love me. I want to know April." I keep my mouth shut and I can feel my heart be torn in two. "Do I mean nothing to you April? All this time, has it all been for nothing?" Liam's voice is low; he is on the verge of tears.

I look up at him and I feel a dagger pierce my side. "You know you mean a great deal to me Liam, but I don't know what my feelings are yet. The same goes for Harry." His face cringes when I acknowledge me and Harry's relationship.

"Well I would decide, and real soon. I won't go on like this. Now please, I have some work to get done." Right before I shut the door on the way out, I see a tear streak his cheek.

I am barely able to keep myself composed enough to run to my room. I shut my door and let the tears flow. Believe me, they don't stop.

I can't imagine how Liam feels right now. Even when he saw the proof, he didn't want to believe it until he heard it from me. He probably thinks I used him like so many others. This is not right, this has to stop. My relationship with Harry can't go on. Liam has to know how much I care. No matter how hard it is, I have to be faithful to Liam, he loves me.

With silent determination I pull myself up from my misery and put on a face of composure to hide my weakness. I leave my room to find Harry, so I can tell him that the sun must set on his feelings for me.