Between Two Worlds

Chapter 8

It wouldn't happen again.

It wouldn't happen again.

Don't worry, it wouldn't happen again.

Jason's words stung in my head as I tried to repeat the events that happened. I was so taken away by his last words that when I got in the house, my mother and father's lecture seemed distant.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

I woke up at the third ring. Took a bath. Got dressed. Ate breakfast. Kissed them goodbye.

School went by in a daze for the next few weeks. It's always the same. Jason didn't hang out with us anymore. The day after Josh's gang attacked us, people kept giving me, Christine and Jason weird looks. I was nearly limping because of my leg. Christine's injury wasn't visible but word spread. I didn't know why Josh and his group wasn't identified. Oh, the luck. It became clear to me that Josh was a bully. A big, mean one. And I was being bullied.

God, I can be so thick.

 Chris was the only one I talked to. Graduation is almost near and our lessons were almost complete. I was all set for colloege, naturally. My parents want me to go to Carolina State University and study business. What I really want to get into is filming, how I want to be the one bossing people around. Just kidding. I just want to be the one to make the decissions and make things the way I want them to happen. But I'm stuck in business. Like, what am I supposed to learn there? Sure I'll also be making the decisions when I take over our company but, .... Ugh, but but but.

Is this what it's like for the children of those parents who are like mine? I hope not. Maybe it's just me. I don't know. I don't want to know.

At home, I was watching Fame. It was a very good film. I cried when Joy wasn't going to graduate. She was so happy and care free with her life then, boom. I was like, "That's it???!" when she walked away. What really struck me was the words of their acting teacher. The one where he says: 

Everything you're ashamed of, all the parts of yourself that you keep secret, everything you want to change about yourself - it's who you are. That's your power. Deny it and you're nothing.

See? I keep thinking about it. I have a lot that I want to change about myself: I want to be like Joy. Get wasted, just once. Be carefree and be able to laugh without worrying what anyone thinks about it. And those parts of myself that I keep secret?

When I was a kid, I had a best friend. I'd say maybe I was about 12 at the time. My parents doesn't like him because they'd say he didn't have any mmanners or didn't care about it at all but I liked him. There was a reason why he was my best friend. Neil introduced me to the world. We would go out and play. We'd go to the meadow, without our parents knowing. One time, we went to the meadow early and he pushed me to the lake. I grabbed him by his ankles and he fell into it too. We were laughing so hard and my cheeks hurt from smiling. From then on, I have never smiled like that. Possibly because I never met someone like him. Cheesy. Then Neil and I got out of the lake and lied down the grass facing the scorching sun, to dry ourselves. I remember that I didn't come home for lunch that day. My hair was so frizzy and even if we weren't doing anything anymore, I kept smiling. Neil was smiling too.

He would pluck berries from the bushes and throw some at me. I would satisfy him every time I catch the berries with my mouth. Neil would say, "aw! No fair!! I don't know how to do that, Lyssa." and I would laugh at him. Those were the happiest days of my life and my parents were so unaware of it.

Another time we made necklaces out of flowers. Neil made me a red one and said it was a crown, a reminder of our friendship and that I am his warrior. At the time it seemed so corny and made no sense but now, I know what it means.