Chapter 5- Giada's Bitch Ass
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Ryan's POV
"You know I really don't get it Gordo! Cause it's definitely not a race thing. I just don't enjoy her." I sneered, watching the TV in distaste. "I mean you're Italian! I love listening to your stories about your Nona and your cousins back in Sicily! It feels real to me, ya' know? But I can't stand the way Giada's bitch ass just smothers me in Italian! Like, can you not? If you could be a little original, that'd be great!"
"Jesus, what's your problem Ryan?" Gordo says, his face shocked and slightly frightened. I roll my eyes.
"She's my problem!" I answer, my face still sour.
"That woman has literally never even met you, Ryan! What could she have possibly done to you?" I sighed. I knew my hatred for Giada is somewhat ridiculous to other people, but I'm telling you, I have my reasons!
"Alright, when I first started watching her show, I didn't really like it because she was all kinds of basic." I could just feel Gordo's blank expression digging into the side of my face.
'Alright,' I thought, 'I'll just explain some more.'
"Alright look at it like this; when your Nona cooks and she's teaching you how do to it, she'll say 'this is a traditional dish, but this is what I like to do to make it special'. Giada's bitch ass doesn't do that! She puts olive oil on it and that's her spin. And on top of that, to compensate for her basic-ness she does the 'Giada lean'."
"The Giada lean, Ryan? What the fuck is that?" I turned to look at Gordo for the first time since I started my rant.
"When she leans over toward the camera to 'pick something up' and she ends up flashing people clevage as if she had any! Like, what are you trying to show me? The air between your clavicle and your t-shirt? Bitch please! If you don't take your negative double A cup self somewhere and sit down!"
"Damn Ryan! That is some rage you got there. I mean I'm Italian and I don't get that offended by it. Well, I mean there was this one time that she made pizza Blanca and didn't put cheese on it. Cause you see that's not pizza anymore, its focaccia and the fact that she called it pizza irritated me a little."
"See! That's my point exactly! I didn't watch that episode, but that's precisely what I mean." I shook my head. I don't like that woman! I just hate her with a passion. Ugh, I can't stand her! Gordo shakes his head, chuckling to himself.
"Ryan, you are a mess." I roll my eyes. He knew I was a mess when he became my friend. He has nothing to complain about right now.
"Whatever. Anyway, now that I got that out of my system, I can check that e-mail that I got twenty minutes ago." I say while reaching into the pocket of my PJ pants to grab my phone.
"Why didn't answer it twenty minutes ago?" Gordo asked, draping himself over my bed. I shrugged.
"Because I was lazy." I say as I click on the email.
'What does Mr. McQueen what with my life?' I groan internally. 'He better not want me to tutor more people!'
Dear Ryan,
YOU ARE READING
Awkward. (BoyxBoy)
RomanceRyan Martinez is a mess. Not in the sense you're thinking though, because his life is pretty put together. He's a straight 'A' student on his way to becoming Valedictorian ( that is, if Daniel Tran would stop being so damn Asian and actually fail a...
