Quiet Like a Ghost

Twenty Three; Hate Me

It's been two years, Opal and I have had another child, Silas. He's barely a year old and already torments his older sister, I find it cute.

But no matter how great life is with my family, the cancer fuck's crap up. I woke up with the worst headache of my life, tears slipping down my cheeks out of pain. I shift Opal's sleeping body off me and try to stand, finding out I couldn't even stand, falling.

"Oh my god, baby. What's wrong?" Opal jumped over to me. I try to respond, words not really formulating. "I'm calling an ambulance." She says, looking extremely worried.

Once at the hospital, they hooked me up to ton of machines. Asking me questions and having me write responses. My handwriting was shaky and barely legible but they managed fine.

"And other questions?" The nurse asked. "Where are the kids?" I hand the paper to Opal since she'd know. "Ryan and Allie have them in the waiting room." She smiles weakly, holding my shaky hand. Her hand was shaking just as much, if not more, making my shakiness seem normal.

I start to feel lightheaded, squeezing Opal's hand more. "What is it?" She asks, then I couldn't see. "What happened to him?!" Opal asks the nurse alarmed. "I think he went blind." She informs her. "Baby, baby, everything will be ok..." I feel her hands cupping my cheek, I think she's more scared than me now.

I manage out "Op..." and she hugs me, I can feel her tears soak through my hospital gown shoulder. I want to tell her I love her and that I'd be ok, but that would be a lie. Even if I survive long enough to see my kids, or, well, more or less "see" them, I wouldn't be able to do anything for myself to be anything worth a life.

I manage to find her waist and pull her on top of the bed with me. I've never been one to talk a lot but the minute I can't I have a million things to say. 'I love you.' Being the main, I guess I could show it. I trail my hands up her body, cupping her chin in my hand, brushing my thumb against her lips. Once I know where her lips were, I pressed mine against them. She was still crying as we kissed, making my heart hurt.

"Please don't leave me." She crumbles, sobbing. That's not up to me. It's not like I want to miss my kids graduating or getting married and having their own kids. I hold her, my own tears wetting my cheeks. I'm going to die. And I'm not ok with it.

We fall asleep, my arms bound tightly around her waist. When I wake up she's gone. I really need her right now... she'll be back but I just want her next to me.

I hear crinkling of plastic and jump. "Oh, sorry to scare you. I'm just changing your drip." The nurse lady's voice says as if she's talking to a child. "Your wife went to check on your kids, she'll be back." She tells me. I nod, causing a sharp pain to go through my head. I hold my head in pain while she tells me she would give me some medicine.

The pain subsides once the medicine was in my system. "I know all this is scary and you don't want to hear this, but I'm going to be honest with you. There's not much we can do for your situation." Lady, I realize that, and I didn't need it confirmed. I only nod, it's not like trying to talk does any good.

"Hey..." Opal whispers, coming back, getting back into bed. I wrap my arms around her, closing my eyes out of habit, it's not like it matters, I can't see anyway. Her fingers trace my tattoos while she thought.

"You ok?" She asks. I just bury my head in her hair. This sucks, I wish I could tell her how I felt but I can't, because A) I can't talk. B) I don't want to scare her more than she already is. But I'm two inches away from breaking down.

I hold her for what feels like an eternity, thinking while I do. Will Ricky man up and take care of them? Will they be ok? They have to be. But there's so much of my kids lives I'm going to miss.

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A/N: FUCKING HATE WRITING THIS! I'M ABOUT TO CRY BUT IT'S GOT TO BE DONE FOR THE STORY TO MOVE FORWARD. *cry*