My Saviours (an Ariana Grande & Jai Brooks Story)

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Kayla, Kayla wake up, I heard a voice say as I felt my shoulder get nudged three or four times. I fluttered my eyes open slowly, the blurry image of my best friend Lucy became clear and I let a weak smile come to my lips.

Morning luc' I say propping myself on my elbow. What time is it I ask her looking around the room to see it empty of everyone but the two of us. "8:19" she responds standing up.

"Oh for fucks sakes Lena must be pissed right off that I slept this late on adoption day" I say slipping on a pair of faded jeans that had holes in the knees and torn ankles I put on one of my tank tops that barely fit me and slipped a baggy hoody on over top.

I started to dig through my night stand. Everyone in the adoption centre gets a night stand with a bottom cupboard and a top drawer that could be locked it was ther way of granting us some privacy and adding a sense of normalcy. I pulled out a pack of smokes and a lighter that I kept hissed in a rolled pair of socks along with a tiny iPod shuffle. I wasn't aloud to have things like booze, smokes, or pot in the centre. I snuck out the back door and say there having a smoke with Lucy, she didn't smoke but also didn't want me to sit out back alone. Lucy figured that since the caretakers all loved her if she was with me and I got caught they'd take it easy on me. I puffed on my cigarette and thought about what could happen today. I thought about every Thursday for the past 3 years and every Thursday getting passed over for someone younger, or someone prettier, or someone with a better attitude. It was the most depressing thing knowing that nobody wanted you because you just weren't good enough. I had grown up being told by my mother that I just wasn't good enough and eventually I would start to believe it. The daily beatings and insult sessions. As I think back I can just smell the alcohol on her breath hear her raspy screams the fire that came from her cold loveless eyes. But most of all I can feel the pain in the side of my face where she would always slap or punch me the hardest every now and then kick if I had fallen.

Kayle, Kayla, Kayla come back to me I hear as I snap back into reality and feel Lucy's arms around me I then realize that I was crying into my knees again I lifted my head sucking back the tears and taking one last puff before flicking my cigarette butt into the small gravel hallway that ran between the east and west wing. (The building is a u type of shape)

Lucy do you think I'll ever get adopted I ask her choking on my words. She just hugs tighter "of course you will" she assures me looking me in the eyes and smiling. "What makes you thing you aren't going to get adopted" she asks her tone going sad
"Lucy it's been three years and I've been adopted once and they brought me back a week later after realizing how broken I was, I mean fuck I've heard people talking under thier breaths about me" by this point my voice is raised and I'm standing there in years just looking at Lucy who immediately gets up and comes to hug me.
"Come on Kayla one day somebody amazing will come along and realize what a strong smart beautiful girl you really are and take you into their family with open arms" I can tell the really believes what she's saying as all I can think in my mind is she hasn't been able to see the world for what it really is yet. Lucy has been stuck in this shithole for her entire life, she hasn't lived a real life yet. I wipe the tears away opening the door for Lucy as we go inside to the common area, the common area is like a giant living room it has tons of couches and chairs and on adoption say everyone goes in there and sits while people walk through look at us and talk to us silently judging us on every aspect. I normally just sit on the corner by the window with my iPod blasting. I know that I should probably be trying to interact with people but it just hurts too damn much every time I do this it kills me a little more and damages my self esteem just a bit more. I put my earbuds on and sit in my usual corner and look out the window as I turn it up as loud as it goes to drown out all of the noise from the other kids and the people coming to adopt. Lucy walks over to one of the couches and sits, she hasn't lost hope yet and it breaks my heart to know that one day she's going to teach her breaking point and the Lucy that I know and love will be dead and gone forever only to be replaced by a girl who has no hope and zero self confidence.