Thirteen

Thirteen Part 11

Thirteen didn't come back until I got back to Oregon, an odd few weeks without him at my side. I started to worry he wouldn't come back at all. That was a scary thought, because I might have to face the rest of this entirely alone. By now, you probably understand why I would miss Thirteen, why I needed him.

I was sketching for the first time in a while when he did show up. He looked a little off, distraught, even.

Thirteen told me he'd been caught in Abyss, and was unable to find him way out. He said the walls were closing in and getting smaller, as if things were shutting down. I didn't know what that meant, because I felt the same as always. He then explained to me that my 'tranquil place' was getting bigger.

I had been feeling happier lately, I didn't have any reason to be, but I was. At the time I had no idea what the cause was, but I'd later find out about mania, I had been manic. Moving around a lot, sleeping less, doing things. I had to keep busy.

Thirteen didn't like it, at all. He said it put him in a bad place, but I couldn't help it. It wasn't my fault, right? It was just happening. I told him to stay out of Abyss and with me constantly, if he could.

Thinking back, that was probably a bad idea. I hadn't been seeing Triggers anywhere, which had been keeping me pretty happy. I sat with Thirteen a while, talking to him like I used to, catching him up.

I went to take a smoke break later, going outside at night. I almost expected to see Shambles, or hear him, I was getting very used to him. Instead, I caught sight of something new. Something was standing off in the yard, about the size of a dog, facing away from me.

Not wanting to bother it, I kept smoking quietly. When I went to ash my cigarette, I accidently activated the motion sensor on the light, and it flicked on. The little thing started screaming, as loud as it could, flipping around to face the light.

I was sure it couldn't see me through the glare of the porch light, but it sure as hell was pissed about it. It kept screaming and holding it's head.

At this time, I was used to these things. This was no surprise, and I went back inside without another thought. I should have done something, really, but I wasn't expecting to walk into my house and see a bunch of the screamers running around. What the hell was this, my mania manifesting? Probably.

I couldn't get any sleep at all, everytime I shut my eyes, they screamers started wailing. Thirteen hated it, I found him chasing them around often, sometimes screaming back at them. That would have been funny if I wasn't so sleep deprived.

Thirteen became a lot more erratic with the less sleep I got. He was all over the place, and would sometimes resort to attacking me if I moved at all. He would often sit in front of me and watch me, just waiting for me to do something so he could have an excuse to be a jackass.

It was really irritating me, when he would hit me, I would hit back. Silly as it sounds, I resorted to sitting on him until he calmed down. Thirteen didn't like it, but he knew I didn't particularly like being assaulted.

And then it dawned on me, I could feel him hitting me, and I could touch him. That freaked me out to an extent, and I retreated. The screamers weren't as bothersome as that thought. What was Thirteen becoming?

I'd have to push that thought away, because I was finally able to sleep for the first time in ages. Crashing hard, I fell into another deep sleep, and back into Abyss.

Thirteen was right about it changing, it was a lot less welcoming, which I didn't think was possible. I didn't go to my 'tranquil place', I didn't want to. Instead I decided to try and explore on my own, without Thirteen leading me in deep.

Things would become very problematic, as I mentioned previously, things just got worse. Much more horrible, as I would come to find out when I journeyed farther into my own head. To be continued.