Infinite Dimensions -The Discovery

CHAPTER 6: Mutuality

The next following days, weeks and months wasn’t a piece of cake. My friends can’t stop badgering me, my studies were messed up and Rey. That damn guy. As if the universe bends to his advantage to mess with me more than how messed up I am now. After the head wound incident, surprisingly, Rey and I felt closer than ever. I don’t think we were being closer to piss off Ashley but it was something else.

What was the something else?

I didn’t tell my friends about Ashley. It was just between me and Rey. It was his side of extreme pain. He opened up to me by that story and I respect that. And that was not the only thing my friends were badgering me about. They won’t leave me alone because they think I’m sad that Rey didn’t feel the same about me. I didn’t even confess that I like him! It was only my secret--MINE. How they knew, I don’t have the slightest idea. I guess that’s how you call them best friends.

Wait… I totally forgot about my obsession with the Universal Studies! I forgot my passion about the subject because of this whole Rey thing…. Could it be that I have forgotten it? Or my passion just changed and I am just concentrated to something else or someone else?

Everything was just a blur to me; my studies, my friends, my brother but whenever I’m around Rey, instead of feeling confused like before, he was just the one who would make it all clear. Because I’m extremely advanced in all my subjects, I need to play dumb in Astronomy because the 45-minute lesson becomes an eternity to me just spending it with Rey. It was hard to not show him my feelings but as long as I see him—at least once a day, clears up my mind and reminds me of my purpose. It was the feeling I never felt before. It was like I needed to be with this guy maybe not because of actually helping him but…satisfying myself that this perfect guy is not a dream.

Yes, because of the head wound incident, we felt closer than ever. We would usually greet each other (but now I’m praying I always bump into him), we play around the laboratory like children (it was only with him that I do that) and we would always spend a 45-minute Astronomy subject in knowing each other.

I have learned that he was the eldest with his siblings and he had a 13 year old sister and another 9 year old brother. He loves dogs. He plays a lot of musical instruments. He sings well. He loves to read books. He hates nagging girls. He loves peace and quiet. He hates assholes (that fact actually made me blush—he’s actually quite decent). His favorite subject is Astronomy. He wants to be an engineer that is why he studies Advance Algebra and Trigonometry and last but not the least… he is extremely fascinated by Universal Studies.

Could it be that this guy read my mind and followed the criteria of my ideal man? Am I really considering the fact that I like him too much and I want to be with him? Am I forgetting the fact that I don’t want to love again? Or this guy, this stupid and manly guy who just burned his hand in an alcohol lamp in Astronomy today, without knowing what my ideal man is like… is actually the guy meant for me? Did he felt the shock of our connected souls or am I just… drowning myself in a pointless illusion and that I am just a brain he needed to pass?

I can never tell him what I feel. I believe that friendship lasts more than any fake illusion of love. I don’t want to waste any connection I have with him now.

But is the illusion really fake? I have learned Connected Souls—hell; I have perfected learning it and I know this is real. My brain does all the talking because if I let my heart decide (another cliché), I’ll end up being hurt.

Whenever I see him being surrounded by girls or even Ashley in fact, I find myself being burned up by rage—or by any deep chance… jealousy.

These girls…they don’t deserve him; even the filthy cavewoman like Ashley. She was the dumbest of all apes for hurting Rey. I know what Rey is going through; I have felt that. And if ever… maybe just a little chance… that he feels the same way about me, I will never… never hurt him the way we’ve been hurt by undeserving people before.