Xander's Love

Chapter eight

For the first time ever I find the need to lock my door.

After driving way over the speed limit from the party, I came inside and grabbed a half full bottle of white wine. I grabbed a glass and headed upstairs. I've never really had a taste for wine but it was much needed. I sat down on the couch in my room and the half bottle of wine filled my cup to the brim, twice. Soon after the side effects from the wine hit and I changed into pajamas. I laid in my bed, cried some more and passed out.

Now it's mid afternoon and I haven't left my room since last night. Eva came this morning but after three knocks, she gave up. Julian came by later but again I refused to answer the door.

Then another knock came from the door.
"Alice?" It's Xander. The last person I wanted to talk on the planet.
"Alice, please open up"
"Go away!"
"Xander leave her be" says Isabella.
"I need to talk to her" his voice is stern and strict.
"She will come out when she's ready"
"Agh!" Xander slams his hand on the other side of the door. I don't even jump. Their footsteps fade off.

I wanted to cry but I have no tears left, I just close my eyes and let sleep take me away.

I wake up and see the clock reads two in the morning. My stomach grumbles at me. Probably no one is awake and I can just sneak downstairs for something to eat. When I open the door, the house is dark and completely quiet. I tiptoe down the stairs and into the kitchen. The fridge light is all that shows in the darkness. I see salami and white bread and decide to make a sandwich. I pull out mayo and some lettuce. After placing my sandwich on a plate, I think about going back upstairs. Well... Maybe I'm not ready to go back up to my room. I eat my sandwich in silence and in the dark.

Being quietly as possible I go head back towards the stairs but out of the corner of my eye I see a small orange light flicker in the living room. I walk back down and notice the fire pit has small embers still burning.

I decide to stay downstairs for a little while longer and snuggle next to the fire. I place more wood to the fire and grab a blanket from the pile in the corner. It's  peaceful staring into the fire and watching the flames dance. Out the window I notice snow falling, creating a new sheet of snow. This would be the most perfect romantic moment but instead I'm just depressed and exhausted.

"Alice" a voice whispers. I open my eyes, it's morning. Julian is leaning over me. I jump up.
"What time is it?"
"Seven"
"Is anyone else awake?" Julian shakes his head, immediately I relax.
"I'm about to take a walk on the fresh snow, would you like to join me?" I contemplate whether to take his offer or just return to the state I was in yesterday.
"Only for a little bit, I don't want to come back to everyone awake" I go upstairs and change into warmer clothes and join Julian outside.

The fresh snow is so white and pure. For the first five minutes, we walk in pure silence.
"Do you know?" I ask breaking the silence.
"Everyone knows"
"News always travels fast huh?"
"Always" Julian adds. I think for a moment of what I want to say.
"I just....don't know what to do" I feel tears threatening to fall. Julian stops and looks at me.
"Alice, there is something you need to know. Something no one has been wanting to tell you because we know you've grown fond of Xander." I swallow fearing Julian's next words.
He takes a deep breath and sighs before meeting my eyes.
"When Xander first arrived, not long after a girl named Beth arrived. They were the best of friends who fell in love.  They were inseparable." I felt that I was holding my breath as Julian went on.
"Xander has been here for 10 years. But 6 years ago we were out on a feeding. Eva, myself, Liam, Xander and Beth. Vampire hunters were waiting for us in the forest. We fought them off but one got a hold of Beth. The hunter had a gold dagger to her chest....."

Julian's Flashback

There are so many! How did they find us?! I hear a scream and turn around to see a hunter holding Beth with a gold dagger to her chest. Xander turns around and tries to come to her aid.
"Aha aha" the hunter teases.
"Don't take another step or I'll take her life" he adds. Xander snarls but obeys. The hunter hits Beth's legs so she falls to the floor on her knees. She begins to cry and I can tell Xander is feeling hopeless to save his love.
From behind the hunter, a man in a black coat in gloves appears. You could tell he was the leader.
"Well well... Look what we have here" he laughs. He looks over to Xander and back at Beth.
"I'm guessing you're her lover?" He smirks.
"I swear if you hurt her!" Xander yells.
"Try something!" The leader yells with fury. Our hands were tied. Beth mouthed I love you to Xander. He shook his head as if saying that wouldn't be the last time they would exchange those words.
"You are all an abomination on this earth" the leader snarls.
"I hate vampires"
The hunter holding Beth lets go and backs up. Before she can run, the leader pushes back his coat revealing a long gold sword and in one fluid motion takes Beth's head clean off.
"NOOOO!!!!" Xander crys. All of us act on impulse and kill all the hunters. The only one that got away was the leader. Xander crouches next to Beth's lifeless body and cries like he'd never cried before. 

"He hasn't been the same since" Julian sighs. That explains so much. The way everyone acts around Xander and his attitude. Xander is afraid to love again.
"What happened to the leader that got away?"
"Xander found him a year after and killed him" I feel so bad for Xander. He had given his all to someone and they were ripped away. He was so broken and lonely, that's why he slept around to numb his pain. But in reality he has no right to treat me the way he did. I'm still very angry but now everything has been put into perspective.

The walk was a lot longer than I expected. After Julian had explained the whole Beth story, we walked in silence leaving me to my thoughts. We came back to the house at nine and several people were awake.
"Morning" I say as I walk into the kitchen. Everyone looks in shock at my appearance.
"You left your room" Isabella smiles.
"Yeah I went on a walk with Julian" Eva smiles at Julian who comes to her side and kisses her.
"Well would you like something to eat?"
"Sure" I sit down across from Theo and Caleb who both refuse to look at me.
"I don't blame you boys for what happened" Caleb looks up at me and looks troubled.
"Hey guys!" Olivia smiles as she walks in. What made her so happy? Was it me being miserable yesterday?
I hear heavy footsteps come down the stairs and look up to Xander. He looks like shit. Like he didn't get an ounce of sleep. His eyes widen as he sees me seated.
"Xander"
"Alice" everyone is quiet again.
"Can I talk to you outside?" He asks.
"Excuse me" I say as I get up and follow Xander out to the porch.

"Look I want to apologize....for what you saw"
"Wait. What? Sorry for what I saw? Not sorry for what you did?" Xander runs his hand through his messy hair.
"That too. Alice, I didn't mean to hurt you. This is just who I am." He looks so pained.
"Xander this isn't who you are. It's because of Beth." Xander looks up and frowns.
"H..how do you know?"
"It doesn't matter. But Xander I understand why you act this way. I mean it still doesn't give you any right to treat me the way you did. But I understand."
"How could you possibly understand?!"
"Hey!! I'm excusing the dumb shit you played on me! Don't you dare raise your voice!" I am the boss now. Xander is speechless.
"Look, I'll be honest. I like you, Xander"
"No. Don't like me. Please." Xander is worse than I thought. I grab his hands and intertwine them with mine. He looks at our hands and back at me, I was afraid he would cry. I place a soft single kiss on his lips.
"No pressure" I smile.

And I meant it.