-Bechloe-

Three

*Beca*

I have a session in an hour, Today is Friday. I don't think I'm going to go though. I feel so down and depressed and I just want to be left alone. Kimmy Jin has gone out to her classes so it was just me in the dorm which I was happy about.

"Beca are you actually going to get out of this room!" My dad said storming in

So much for being alone.

"Just leave" I said

I felt tears in my eyes. Why am I wanting to cry? Just one of those days where you just start to cry for no reason.

"No I won't Beca! I am you're father and I am telling you that you need to get a life and get out of this room!" He said harshly

Why is he getting so mad at me! I haven't done anything wrong.

"I'm going out later" I mumbled

He asked where so I told him about how Jesse set up counselling. My 'dad' would of found out anyway so I just told him.

"You're fine! You don't need to go to that shit Beca. You're not depressed you're just acting like a little brat! Always looking for attention" He spat

What?!

"Attention! NO! You have ignored me for half of my fucking life, You blamed me for my own mothers death. I don't want attention, I wan't to be left alone. You would never know how I fucking feel anyway would you! Because you never even asked me!" I shouted, Tears rolling down my face

He then stormed out. Why does he do this to me! I pulled out the box from under my bed and grabbed what I need and then ran into my bathroom and did what I needed to do. I need to feel the pain. It helps. After being in the bathroom for about 15 minutes I decided that I wanted a shower. The dorms don't have showers only a sink and toilet! 

I grabbed my shower stuff and headed to the shower block, I looked and I didn't hear any showers on so I was thankful that no one else was here. Once I was in the shower I began to sing Titanium. This is one of my favourite songs!

 "You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud, not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away -"

"You can sing Beca!" Chloe cut me off by ripping open the shower curtain

Oh dear god! I quickly covered my body with the curtain and she smirked.

"Dude, Get out" I whined

I have gotten used to being around Chloe so I'm not as shut away as I was before but that doesn't mean that I am going to open up to her about everything! I haven't even done that with Jesse yet and I've known him longer!

"I thought you said you don't sing?" She asked, Still a smirk planted on her face

"Erm, I don't?" I lied 

I knew I could sing but I also knew that I wasn't the best singer, My mother always told me that I was amazing but then again my dad told me I was the worst and that I shouldn't sing when I am around others.

"Lies! You are amazing, You should so join the Bella's" She smiled

Um, No thanks! I don't need a bunch of people judging me. I just shook my head no and she laughed slightly.

"Can you go now so I can shower?" I asked 

She nodded and bit her lip. Can she not! Before she left she looked at my wrists and looked sad. I looked and seen my cuts were on show, Fuck sake!