Loving John

Take me away

John? JOHN WHERE ARE YOU? I screamed and cried at the same time in my school toilet.

I just can't be without his comfort, love and silly lines. Why do I feel this way? Why do I feel outside of everyone? Why am I feeling like a weird flying bubble comparing to others? Why do I hate every single thing around me in this present time? 2015? I'm just feeling empty, like a balloon that needs to be pumped up. Like a bird that needs to fly higher. I don't know what I'm going through anymore. I'm feeling miserable, like a person without a valuable soul. As I put my hair into a messy bun I'm thinking if they really did these hairstyles in John's decade. I think not. But I bet he'd like me in a messy bun anyways, how sweet.

I'm empty of sentences, words and feelings. I can't describe how I'm feeling right now.. He showed me something that I never could see. He made me see the most beautiful things to look at. He made me feel like never before. However, maybe I'm just imagining the whole thing. Maybe I just love the early 1900s so much that i even dream about it. 

- Sarah? Are you going to New York to your uncle's family for a week or not? 

- Yeah mom, I'm packing my bags right now.

As I pack my bags, my mind can only think about John's hand playing with my hand. What a comfort. I'm daydreaming as always about him. His hand laying on my cheek pleasant and rare in it's own positive way. His lips meeting mine as the stars above us are shimmering somehow strong. Lastly, my favorite part which is when he drags my whole body into his.