Shadows Bleed

XXIV

XXIV

"Oi! Quit cheating and show us your cards."

Bluepin slammed his fist on the table, rattling the coins and cards, sending more than a few tumbling to the floor. Orepk was stubbornly holding onto his cards long after the rest of the crew had spread theirs on the table. The winning hand, so far belonged to Baller, the chances of Orepk pulling ahead remarkably slim.

I leaned back in my chair and placed my hands behind my head. I wasn't going to interfere, they would work it out in their own time. I glanced around the table. Most of the crew was present, Varik, the helmsman, excepted. And Yennyfer.

I wondered where the last minute addition to our crew had disappeared to for, until fifteen minutes ago, she had been playing right alongside us, however absentmindedly.

"Did you see where Yennyfer went?" I leaned across and whispered the question in Celeste's ear.

Celeste shrugged, her attention focussed on the heated debate taking place around the table. I stood up, scooping what few coins I had left into my pocket. Damn, there weren't many coins left at all. I guess that was due to my poker face. I'd been told it wasn't very good.

I left the galley behind and climbed out onto the deck. The night air was sharp and the wind strong, carrying us towards Haven at a swift pace. I wrapped my arms around my chest, rubbing my hands to keep warm. Puffs of mist appeared with every breath I exhaled.

The upper deck of the Mayflower was lit by a pair of torches that offered little visibility in place of the abundant moonlight. Still, as I cast my gaze around the deck, my eyes failed to find Yennyfer.

I wondered what had gotten into her of late. She was skipping meals and spent most of the day hidden away, only popping up from time to time. I wanted to get to the bottom of it. Of course, I'd have to find her first and she'd become quite good at hiding on a boat that was barely large enough to accommodate thirteen people, let alone give any of them privacy.

I stared up at the skies, at Yyr. The stars truly were a sight to behold this far from civilisation. A sharp pain stabbed at my heart when I recognised one of the constellations. Ayaeo, the Queen of Flames. I remembered Luthar talking to me as readily as if it had only been last night.

Tears welled in my eyes, my lips quivering. I suppose I still hadn't accepted it. I needed to sit down. Resting my shaking legs, I curled up on the deck, resting my back against a bundle of rope.

The crow's nest!

That's where Yennyfer would be. But I didn't want to go back up there, not with all the memories it would bring. I'd tried to lock them away, bury them deep inside me over the past months. A lot of good that had done.

An exasperated sigh escaped my lips, my shoulders sagging. What more could I do? I would have to talk to Yennyfer sooner or later, and it would be better to do it without anyone else around.

As I stood up and reached the base of the mast, I cautiously curled my fingers around the rigging, wary of the white ropes as if of fire. Tears flowed freely down my cheeks as I climbed. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I couldn't try to forget them any longer.

I reached the platform atop the mast feeling lighter, almost relieved. Adding to my alleviation, I spotted Yennyfer, sitting cross-legged at the top. She all but spared me a glance as I sat down next to her.

Her eyes and thoughts were lost to the stars, tracing their way around the invisible lines connecting the constellation of Ayaeo.

"A friend of mine used to love watching the stars from here," I said absently.