I Want Him Back...

I Want Him Back... - Part 3

Belinda woke the next day feeling a little better than she normally did. After last night's fiasco, Maggie had insisted that she keep the photograph to keep the fears at bay. She obviously knew it was a struggle for Belinda to wake up in the morning, despite the effort Belinda put in to hide it. I must scare the hell out of her sometimes, she thought absent-mindedly. And, even though it was a difficult task, Maggie was helping. She wanted to make up for the fact Maggie didn't have an older brother and it was all her fault.

Standing in the shower, Belinda let the dream from last night rush back over her. She was getting better at just letting it run over her, not screaming out. She felt like the dreams were important, like they meant something. Sometimes, she even thought she was supposed to be somewhere else. She just wished she could pick up on what was important in the dreams. Instead, it was like she was trying to catch water with open hands. Remnants caught hold and clung for moments but soon fell or dried up.

Once she was dressed, she was out of the door. She couldn't bear to hang around for too long, didn't like to face a Maggie who hadn't gotten enough sleep...again...because of her. Maybe she should go home, let Maggie sleep without hearing her terrified screams. Visit after school maybe and then she'd at least be able to keep the house tidy. Then there was that part-time job she was constantly promising herself she was going to find...

No. She wouldn't allow herself to become even more pessimistic. She was getting better at this, she decided. Waking up, going to school...just living, she supposed. Even now, looking at Emma she didn't feel the insane urge to burst into tears any more. And hardly anyone was picking on her now, after what happened to her mum. She even thought people were going out of there way to make sure she was okay! Nobody close to Emma, obviously, but that didn't matter.

"Belinda, how're you doing?" Emma said, her sickly sweet voice almost making Belinda cringe away. She only barely managed not to and that might have been because a wall was supporting her. She turned around and aimed a smile at Emma. At least, she hoped it was a smile.

"I'm okay Emma, what's up?"

That shut Emma up. Obviously, Emma had been hoping for Belinda to get scared, ask Emma to leave her alone, possibly even beg. Emma couldn't have been accustomed to a Belinda who didn't give way all the time, didn't shy away from popular people. Belinda was finally everything she had wanted to be - and she was miserable.

"Look Emma, what do you want? You came over here, I assume you want something even if it's stupid. And if you don't want anything," she added dangerously, "I wouldn't suggest coming over here again. I may not be your worst enemy but I'm sure you don't want your friends to think I'm a friend."

"You bitch," Emma hissed vehemently. "How dare you talk to me like that? You do it again and you'd better watch your step, 'cause I'll make sure you get yours. Don't you ever think for a second you're better than me. Got it? Because I'm not saying this again, freak."

Watching Emma sashay off, Belinda couldn't bring herself to feel any fear. Not even fake fear to make Emma leave her alone. She just wasn't made for that anymore, not since Keith had brought her out into the light all her own. And she refused to feel like a little girl trapped in Emma's world any longer. If Emma wanted a war, she would damn well get one. And this time, it wouldn't be one-sided.