I Want Him Back...

I Want Him Back... - Part 5

[Yayness for people! I'm feeling kind of ill so typing is about all I can really do ^_^ so my followers may be privileged with yet MORE story! lolness, I am joking but thanks to all those who still read it anyway! Keep the feedback coming, good and bad, 'kay? Much appreciation to NougamiNeuro11, who should put their next part up ASAP. There's a bit in here, just for them, they'll know when they see it. ^_^ thanks again!]

Belinda could feel her nerves mounting as she watched people pour past her. Was he going to turn up? Was Emma going to appear in about an hour and tell her it was all a joke? Would she ever stop assuming Emma was behind everything? Oh God, she thought. I'm turning into one of those paranoid people that nobody likes. I'm going to end up like that lady at the end of my street, with sixty-two cats who wants to seem hip. Oh dear God don't let me end up like her.

"Hey Bel, sorry that took me so long," Jack called to her through the crowd. She let out the breath she was apparently holding in a noisy 'whoosh' of air. Again, she felt at ease around him, a pressure releasing somewhere inside her. She smiled at him before eyeing the bicycle he was pushing warily.

"Uh, and how am I meant to keep up with that?" Belinda asked sceptically. Jack laughed at the distaste in her voice.

"I wouldn't expect you to run after it."

"Oh, so you'll be getting there first?" Belinda snorted, rolling her eyes. "Look, Gina and Maggie aren't going to be home for a while so you couldn't get in anyway. So why don't you-"

"I meant you could ride on the back Bel," Jack said, indicating the extra footholds [WN, I don't actually know what they are but I have seen them before!] before shifting forwards to give her space. "Come on, it's easier than us both walking."

"But- I mean- I-" Belinda stuttered before finally getting her mouth around what she wanted to say. "I'll be too heavy for it. Seriously, you should just come over in maybe an hour." Then someone else will be home, she wanted to say. Then you won't get bored and regret coming altogether.

"Oh, come on," Jack scoffed, one of his eyebrows quirked. It was amazing how at ease he seemed to be around her already, giving Belinda that security blanket feeling. "Tiny little thing like you? Bet you weigh nothing compared to my little brother."

Belinda clambered onto the back, embarrassed and slightly uncomfortable. Even slightly afraid. She had never ridden on the back of someone else's bicycle, always thinking she would fall off. That fear renewed itself as she felt the wheel at her feet turning but it soon vanished when Jack didn't even waver as he pushed off. His shoulders felt wonderfully solid under her fingers, making her whole fear seem irrational.

When they got to the house, Jack wasn't even out of breath. Belinda looked at him, astonishment at this 'miraculous' feat evident on her features. Jack caught one look at her face before chuckling to himself and indicating the front door. Belinda felt immediately embarrassed again, rushing to the door only to trip into a bush.

Jack went from chuckling to roaring so much that he couldn't actually help her out of it before she got herself out. She glared at him - although it was difficult. She knew if he had tripped she would be doing the same thing. She was just relieved that it was the friendly kind of laughter you get from someone who couldn't help it, instead of the unkind laughter she was accustomed to receiving.

"Hello?" Belinda called out automatically, even though she knew nobody could possibly be there yet. It made her feel better to fill the silence.

"So what time does everyone get back?" Jack asked, totally at ease, even though it was just Belinda and him. "I mean, I know you're here but, no offence, you don't exactly seem at ease."

Belinda's face instantly coloured. How had he known? She hadn't said anything wrong, hadn't done anything more stupid than fall in a bush...had she? Oh God, she thought abstractly. He must think I'm some kind of idiot. Even now she couldn't summon words in her defence. And then her mind went utterly blank again. Really, why was she so worried? He was just pointing out something and that was nothing to get worked up about.

As she was calming down the door behind them opened again. In came Maggie, bouncing on the balls of her feet and grinning madly. Belinda had never been so happy to see the little round face with those warm brown eyes. Brown eyes that were currently shining whilst looking at Jack, who seemed every bit as pleased to see Maggie. How...oh, of course, Belinda thought instantly. Jack had even talked about her earlier, asking her for her opinion.

"Hey Mags, how're you holding up?" Jack asked, bending down to Maggie's height. "Not still causing trouble are you?"

"Nope," Maggie giggled, popping the 'p'. "I've been a good girl. Ask Belinda, right?"

Belinda just smiled at the obvious companionship between the two. Jack just seemed to have a way with her. Belinda hadn't seen her smile like that before. And the guilt that came crashing on her then wrenched the smile from her face and brought the sting of tears to her eyes. She turned quickly to keep Maggie or Jack from noticing and bustled into the kitchen.

"What do you want to drink Maggie?" Belinda called, her voice steady. She was pleased and that brought her further from her dark corner. "And would you like anything Jack?"

"Nothing for me Bel," came Jack's reply, moments before Maggie called, "apple juice!"

It took another half hour for Belinda to calm down - and that was because Gina came home. She wasn't sure what was making her uncomfortable anymore, not since Maggie went to do homework. It wasn't the same as hanging out with Keith had been but it wasn't completely different. She was still trying to see what was and wasn't different when he said he had to leave before his mum got worried.

Belinda kept her face from falling even though she did want him to stay. She just felt so...at ease around him, something she had rarely felt since she'd met Andrew. Even with Keith it had been a keyed up kind of peace, charged with all the emotions of...wanting him, needing him. With Jack it was a sleepy peace that would bring grateful tears to her eyes had she not been so content.

But she smiled as she waved him goodbye, enjoying his promise that he would see her tomorrow. She had never had that gentle reminder, not from Andrew, Keith or even Jess. It was like he was chiding her for thinking he might disappear, as though he understood where her reluctance at sharing came from. And, even with such knowledge, he didn't seem to be abandoning her, didn't appear to want to sever the bond of friendship just yet.

"He's good for you, you know," Maggie said knowingly when Belinda finally came in. Belinda looked up startled before Maggie continued. "I mean, you've been smiling. Really smiling, as opposed to smiling because you have to. It's good for you."

"Oh Maggie," Belinda said, tears rushing again. She hadn't had the girl fooled at all. She had thought she was so clever, hiding her grief and pain, give or take a few nightmares. But all this time, Maggie had watched and worried after her, had attempted to find some solution that could save her from herself. "Oh Maggie, I'm so sorry. I...I never wanted you to..."

"It's okay, Belinda," Maggie said blithely. "I knew you didn't want me to know, so I...well, I tried not to let you know I did," she said, giggling slightly. "I guess I'm better at this than you."

Half-giggling, half-sobbing, Belinda gripped Maggie in a tight hug. She knew, then and there, what it was like to have a little sister for your best friend. And she loved it.