Dandelion

<<>31<>>

I haven't added to my list in a while. It's still only made up of eleven things, but I've been hesitant to add more because I want to perfect the ones I have before adding more. A couple more thing have been brought to my attention rescently. They are things that I don't really want to do, but I know I need to.

12. Find a different job

Working for Willy is super easy, and I love the chillness of it, but then again, I am constantly around things from my past. John, Jake, and Tyler come in there all the time, Willy's always smoking pot, and I'm surrounded by the coolest hookahs that beg to be used. I guess I'll stop by oneday this week and tell Willy that I have to quit.

13. Get serious about school, and actually pick a major

This is something that I really don't want to put the extra effort into, but I constantly remind myself that Emery wants a guy that is set on bettering himself.

After writing my journal entry for October 31st, I picked up my bible from the grass. I finally finished Genesis the other day, now I'm reading in Exodus. The process is slow, but I'm trying. I read slow and sometimes I read the same verse over and over trying to interpret its meaning. I try to have patience; I know this isn't something that I will just pick up.

After several chapters, I placed my bible back with my journal and looked up at the sky. It was easily visible through the trees nearly naked limbs.

White clouds rolled by and for a second, I was reminded of my childhood. Oh how I wish I could go back and relive it. I wish that I could go back and erase all my past mistakes, and just be free again.

Actually, I can.

I stood up, zipping my jacket up for warmth, then I climbed into the tire swing. I had to make an extra effort to keep my feet from brushing the ground, but otherwise I managed to swing almost normally.

The higher I went, the more the cold wind chilled my face. I ignored it and kept swinging.

Suddenly, a heard a pop, and the tire swing fell to the ground with a hard thud. For a second, I lay there stretched out on my back in the grass, too stunned to move. The laughter hit seconds later. I laughed loud and uncontrollably; I laughed until my stomach hurt and eyes filled with tears; I laughed until I couldn't anymore. Then, I lay still, letting the light of the morning sun warm my soul.

I could hear my dads tractor running down towards the barn, and I hopped up to go talk to him.

Over the hill, I could see that he had the doors wide open, and was pulling the tractor out from its parking spot.

He saw me from a distance and lifted a hand. He cut the engine and hopped down from the seat. "What are you doing up?" He called as I walked near.

"I wanted to watch the sunrise." I said.

"Oh...okay." He answered. I'm sure my behavior lately baffles my parents.

"So, I was wondering, could you help me build a swing to hang in the tree?"

"A swing? Why do you want to build a swing?" He asked curiously.

"Well, my tire swing broke, and I've been hanging around the tree lately and I need something to sit in."

"I guess that's a good reason to want a swing." He said smiling. "Come on, we'll see what kind of wood I've got stored up in the workshop."

I followed him through the barn doors and into the workshop.

"So, what should this swing be like? I one seat swing, or one like the one on our front porch?" Dad asked.

"One big enough for two." I answered.

"Two? Who's gonna come way down here to swing with you?" He asked smiling.

"You never know..." I said, returning his smile.

We made our way to the piles of wood in the back of the workshop. Besides fixing the fence occasionally, the wood barely gets used anyways.

"I guess this size would work best." He said, grabbing a long, thin piece and handing it to me. He stacked several more in my open arms, and we dropped them by the saw.

I watched as he drew out the measurements and began cutting the wood in the appropriate lengths.

We started with the base of the swing first, and I put all the screws in while he held it in place.

By lunchtime, it was beginning to look like a nice swing. We took a break and went up to the house to make a couple of sandwiches. Bringing them back down to the barn with us, we sat on haybails to eat them.

"Thanks for helping me out, dad." I said after chewing my first bite.

"You're welcome." He took another big bite and chewed it slowly, thinking. "Why are you doing this Cam?"

"I told you I needed a place to sit under my tree."

"No, I don't mean the swing, I mean everything. You're different, and I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I just want to know why." He said.

I thought about my answer. Is it still about Emery? "Well dad, I wanted to be a better guy for Emery, and I stumbled upon Jesus in the process." That's the best way I can explain. "I know you're not exactly a believer, but that's my honest answer."

"So you're saying Jesus made you like this?" He said, confused and suspicious all at once.

I gave him a simple answer. "Yes."

"Okay, if that's what you need, then that's fine." He finished up the rest of his sandwich.

"You should come to see me get baptized tomorrow." I suggested. Maybe he will get something from it.

He looked over me. "Yeah, I'll go. Now, let's get back to work."

I smiled to myself and stood up to return to our project.

We finished it and had it hanging in the tree by three o'clock. Dad and I both plopped down in it to test it out.

"Well, it's holding us.." He said after a brief moment of silence.

"Yep, it is." I said. "Hey dad, could I work for you?"

A puzzled look took over his tan face. "Doing what?"

"I don't know, mowing the pastures, fixing stuff, taking care of the animals... You used to have people work for you."

"What about your other job?" He asked.

"I want to quit, it isn't a good fit for me anymore."

He scratched his short beard, "I guess I could use some help around here, but you'll have to be serious about it Cam. I'm not paying you to play with the horses all day."

"I know dad, I will be." I offered him a hand to shake.

He took it after chuckling.

"It was nice hanging out with you today, I miss us spending time together." I said.

"Yeah, me too." He placed a hand on my shoulder. "It seems like you're becoming a man, son."

"I am. I think I finally know what that means."