Dandelion

<<>33<>>

November 25, 2015

I'm at a standstill. I've changed nearly everything about myself, yet I feel like it's not enough. I want to do more, I want to get more involved at church, I want to be even closer to God.

I need to step even further out of my comfort zone, just one step more will do, because one step away from myself, is one step closer to God.

I remember what the preacher said about how I can get more involved at church. He said that I could always sing if I wanted to. But, singing in front of anyone terrifies me, let alone an entire church body. Singing is my only talent, so I have to use it.

On the bright side, Emery did want me to sing for her, so I could do something for the church and Emery at the same time. This will definitely be something the him Emery spoke about in her note would do. Her birthday was a few days ago, so this can be my gift to her without her knowing I guess. That's the best I can do without making any sort of contact.

I got to do it... I even know what song it has to be.

I closed my journal for now, then took my guitar off of its stand. Opening my door to see if anyone was in the hall first, I left my room with my guitar in my hand.

I opened the front door and an immediate gust of icy wind hit me. Nope. I left my guitar next to the door, and ran back up stairs to put some warm clothes on. After layering a flannel and a hoodie, I headed to the kitchen to make a to-go cup of hot chocolate.

I slung my guitar strap around my body, pulled my beanie down over my ears, and started off towards my tree.

The grass still had dew on it from the night, and it dusted the ground like fresh, white snow. I wish it was snow..
I thought.

"God, please let this work. Please just let it be enough to get her back. I've been patient, but I miss her lord. Actually God, I want to earn her back, so when you think I'm ready, I pray that you'll send her back to me."

I've been doing that lately; talking to God randomly. It helps me feel close with him if I talk to him like I would a friend. Besides, who says I can't talk to him whenever I want?

As I cleared the last hill, I noticed a few of the horses were roaming about. Cupcake and Midnight were further away, but Dandy was quite close to my tree.

I crept up quietly, trying not to disturb her. I made it to my swing without her noticing. I settled in with my guitar in my lap, and my hot chocolate sitting next to me.

I strummed a cord gently to see if it would scare Dandy. She barely even looked over at me.

I played lightly, trying to get the feel of it again. Soon, I was playing as good as I used to. I began to sing low, testing to see if I still had it.

Dandy stopped eating, and looked up at me now. She didn't seem afraid of the sound, just curious. I sung louder as I got more comfortable, and her warm eyes stayed locked to me.

After a few minutes of listening to me sing, Dandy walked slowly over to my swing. I stopped playing to greet her. Her nose slid into my hand, urging me to pet her. I could tell that she wasn't as nervous as she used to be; perhaps she was finally accustomed to our ranch.

"Hey pretty girl." I said, as I rubbed her velvety black nose.

I stood to get even closer to her, and she leaned into my chest. I grazed my fingers down her back. "I know someone who would really like to ride you." I told her. "Do you think it's okay for me to try?"

I didn't get a response of course, but she didn't seem to mind my touch at all. "Come on Dandy, let's go down to the barn and get saddled up." I guided her down to the barn, and she willingly followed me.

Dad had a saddle stretched out over one of the stalls, and I shut me and Dandy in it. She eyed me curiously as I placed the saddle on her back. It startled her a bit, but I continued talking to her and petting her to keep her calm.

I climbed up on the side of the stall. "It's okay Dandy." I said, as I eased onto the saddle. She reared her head back, but I again calmed her.

I stayed on her back for a few minutes, just to let her get used to me. She seemed fine, so I decided to see if she would actually move with me on her back.

I slowly reached my foot down and unlatched the stall door. It creeked open and Dandy saw the opportunity to exit the stall.

She didn't act like I bothered her at first, but once we were out in the open, she began to jump around.

I lost my balance and slid off backwards, landing on my back with a thud. I quickly rolled over out of her way.

Well that didn't go so well... I thought, catching my breath.

I watched as she galloped off in the distance. It's probably best if I let her calm down before I try to make contact with her again. I apparently don't know much about horse training.

I returned to my swing and played on my guitar for a while. I even recorded myself singing and then played it back. I didn't sound too bad actually, but I also wasn't in front of a huge crowd with Emery in it either.

Dandy had noticed my music, and she cautiously made her way back to the tree. Who knew that music was Dandy's weakness? I continued to play until she got close again.

"Sorry for spooking you, girl. We'll take things slow from now on..." I said to her. I don't care if she bucks me off, but I don't want Emery getting hurt. That is, if Emery ever even speaks to me again. I'd be lucky just to hear her voice.

I threw myself into perfecting the song for the rest of the day, and constantly reminded myself that this is the last trick that I have left up my sleeve, so I have to make it work.

Hey guys, this chapter is sort of a "to be continued". Sorry it's so short, the next one will be longer!
I love you all, and thanks for reading:)