Megi's Mega Incident

Wet Memory

Nursey schools are normally fun, you don't get any lessons, you can make potatoe prints, you can play with play dough, you can do lots of things. But with the proper nursery school, the ones that are actually schools, you have to interview for, and behave, and have lessons, and actually do work. Some nurseries won't let you in unless you are potty trained and can speak full sentences and silly stuff like that, I mean, babies aren't supposed to speak in correct grammar and full sentences. So, with the intro bit about nursery schools out of the way, we can get on to what Megi did at her nursery. Well, it wasn't her nursery. But it's pretty close to being that, I think.

"Megi, come on, sweetie." No, that's not Megi's mum, it was her dad, in his screechy girl voice, not that he doesn't always use that one. He only has one. Unfortunately.

"Comin', Pap." Megi has finally learnt to speak, in two years time, after her first crime at an early stage. Her first word wasn't what you would expect though. Now, it's not quite right, or good, two have two members of the the family in the same house when one is at the first stages of becoming a teenager, and the other at the stage of learning to speak. Get me?

 "Come on, love."

Megi took slow and steady baby steps down the staircase, wearing a summer frock which definitely doesn't suit her. Grass green is so not her colour, but then, she has no colour. So, I'm sure you are wondering, why is Megi dressed in a frock in the frost of November? Well, pretty much because she has a nursery interview, but also because she can never wear the right thing at the right time, except this time, even though it's not the right weather, it's for the right occasion. Now, I think I mentioned this before, but I'll say it again, Mr and Mrs Deeson lets Megi pick her own clothes, yes, even at the age of 3, ever since she could crawl, she's been picking her own clothes. Not the brightest idea, Emmy. Especially not with Megi's sense of fashion, she is a bundle of disgrace to the baby's fashion world. But it's the insides that matters, not that she chooses nice knickers or vests, she doesn't, black knickers and white trousers simply cannot go together.

"Grrrr. grrrrrr." The Deeson household car roared and started up reluctantly. The car has been in the family for...... ooh, let's say since Victorian time, since it looks like it, sounds like it and drives like it, but it actually isn't it if you know what I mean.

So, they were off to a nursery school interview! A posh one too, where you have to pay $500 per month. $ because the nursery is in America, yes, a boarding school nursery, have you ever heard of such a thing? Just so we're clear, the Deeson familiy do live in England, only I think everyone, excluding Mr Deeson but including Choco, was tired of Megi. Not tired as you would get tired of a new DS game, but tired as keeping her happy, but she was a hard job, and an annoying job. So they decided to pack her off boarding school in America, where they would only hear from her and see her every summer. But boarding school at the age of 3 is a bit too much, so they found a nursery, not strictly a boarding nursey, but in her case, i.e. $300 case, they let her sleep witht the house mother in the big girls school that connects to the nursery.'

"Vroom, vroom.....!" The car stopped, not outside the office where they should have, but in the middle of the M1 motorway, which is not a good place to stop and rethink the idea.

"Are we there yet?" It seems that every children in the world knows this phrase, but not every dad knows how to answer. Fortunately, Mr Deeson was, well, more of a mother.

"No sweetpea, but soon, we're here for a water stop!" He stuck the emergency flash lights on his car and exited into the part wood that was fortunately on the edge of the motorway. Yes, to get into this posh American place, she was suppose to be potty trained, but that's easy to fraud. And once she was there, there really wasn't any going back. They'd have her for a term, at least. And once they found out how wonderful she is (Megi isn't in any way wonderful, but the pay from her parents... that's another thing) they'd sure let her stay.

However, that wasn't never really the case, in fact, she never got to go to America at all, well, not the nursery anyways. They did go there for a holiday. Once the rare falling apart classic car sprung into life again, they were off.

"So, Megi," asked a stern faced interviewer. "what do you like doing?" That was the third question Ms Honey asked, and the third question that Mr Deeson will answer for Megi.

Megi has the attention span of a cockroach, and very cockroach like she was now, staring around the room with a bored interest that only girls like her can have. For three whole seconds Megi can give her full attention span to an animated object, and Ms Honey, even though a human, was inanimated as you can get, only her lips seems to be moving, so it's no big surprise that Megi took one look at this black dressed woman and decided that her white beloved Persiun rug was more interesting. Judging by the look on her face, Ms Honey would rather be home watching a year's worth of East Enders rather than here with a gay dad and a dumb girl.

"Megi is a very intelligent girl, she enjoys reading, doing maths and some A-level studies." To Mr Deeson, Megi is amazing in every way, whilst everyone else is only amazing in some ways, or many ways.

That really was a too big of a stretch, even the smartiest three year old cannot say that and not have Liar written across their forehead. Megi is not intelligent in anyway, she does not enjoy reading as she can't read, a standard picture book the size of her palm and the thickness of a leaf takes her 24 hours to read. She doesn't even know the answer to 1+1, let alone A-level studies.

"As you know, Mr Deeson, the academy only accept some limited future scholars that will grow up to be some of the most famous people in the world, winning Noble prices and various awards, Megi doesn't seems to have the ability to speak, at least, not in front of other people, now, she may be shy, I'm not saying she's not, but I don't think she is the right person for this position."

"Oh, I quite disagree."

Ms Honey doesn't seem to be convinced, but Ms Honey never was convinced, so there is no reason for her to look so. But when a big stash of cash was placed on her table, her eyes widened, which was a surprise as she seems like the kind of woman that is always calm and structured. But then I suppose there can be exceptions.

Megi's name went on the list. But then everything didn't quite go as planned.

"I want wee wee!" Megi climbed down from a chair that is four times too big for her. Ms Honey's eyes widened for the seconde time that day, Ms Honey's eyes widened for the second time that day as a dark, wet stain spreaded across her Persiun rug.

After a few moments, a stash of cash was back in Mr Deeson's carpet, Megi's name crossed off, and a angry thunder face shooed them out of the door. Well, that rug was Ms Honey's life, who could blame her. It represented everything for her, i.e. her former husband, who she lost by being too proud of it in the first place.