Back-Up Boyfriend

Moving On

Phil fell asleep moments after getting home. He didn't even change out of his nice clothes. He needed to numb the thoughts he had running through his mind. 

He awoke to the bright light of dusk through his blinds. He sniffled and stretched his arm over towards his phone. He had a message from PJ, which he was going to ignore and a voicemail from Dan. 

Look, um, I know you're grieving, I get that. But damn it, I enjoyed last night. You have to learn to let people go Phil, I can only help you so much, and I would love to continue our, our whatever this is, but I can't if anytime something happens you blow up on me, My self esteem can't handle it. So call me back if you figure things out okay? Bye.

Phil slowly set the phone down and took a look around his room. Reminders were everywhere. The teddy bear Travis had won him at the carnival, endless love letters from their early months of dating, pictures. Phil took a deep breath and picked up his phone again. 

Message to Dan Howell: Bonfire at my house. 10 mins.

Dan pulled up and saw Phil carrying two boxes out to a small fire in his backyard. "Hey!" Dan called as he jogged over towards Phil. It worried him that Phil was still in his tie. "Oh hey Dan," Phil says. He sets the box down. 

"Uh," Dan glances down at one of the boxes. Pictures of Phil and Travis sat on top. "What are you doing?" 

Phil picked up a few pictures, glancing at them for a moment. "Letting people go." He flung each picture, one by one, into the flames. He watched the smiles, the kisses, the love melt into ashes. 

Dan couldn't help but smile at Phil. "Do you want some help? You seem to have quite a bit here." 

Phil nodded, "Yeah hand me that," he pointed towards the teddy bear. Dan bent down and handed Phil the bear. Phil took one arm, while Dan held onto the other. "Pull." Phil says forcefully. 

"Man you sure?" Dan asks. This seemed to be like an important memento. "Pull." Phil says assertively. Dan and Phil pulled forcefully on the bears arms until the stitches ripped and the body flung into the fire. Phil tossed his arm in after it, Dan did the same. 

Phil sighed and sat down on one of the benches around the fire. Dan took a seat next to him, his hand lingering on the small space between them. "Feel better?" 

Phil nodded. "I listened to that voice mail over and over again, you're right." Phil looks at Dan. "You're right about everything." Phil's hand rests on top of Dan's. Dan picks it up and interlaces his fingers with Phil's. 

"You know," Dan says. He studied Phil's hands. "We don't have to move into, whatever this is right away." Dan chuckles. Phil leans in and kisses him. "Does that give you an answer?" Dan giggles and lunges forward, stealing another kiss.