Fixation (Jeff the Killer x F.Reader)

005

October 31st

Dear Diary,

Do you ever wonder what your life would have been like if you had never met a specific person?

How do you pick up the pieces and put them back together again with the absence of someone who used to be so important to you?

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"Are you even listening to me?"

You jolt and focus on Misa again. She's sitting on the white marble bathroom counter getting ready for the Halloween party and looking at you like you just poured her concealer down the drain.

"Right, sorry, what did you say?"

Misa furrows her eyebrows and sets her flat iron down.

"You worry me, you know. More than usual lately. Don't take that the wrong way babe, but what's going on?"

"I'm alright, just tired. I had 3 papers as midterms, so I haven't gotten much sleep this week. There's no need to worry."

Misa partially believed you. You've been in your head a bit too much lately, seemingly on autopilot sometimes. You weren't quite sure why. Maybe it was the mention of Jax and the encounter with the man in the convenience store that perplexed you. Perhaps stress and anxiety from midterms had fueled old memories and the possibility of new ones.

"Hmm alright, well grab my glitter gel please. I want our makeup to have Euphoria vibes."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

You take a deep breath before continuing up the driveway toward a three story house where people were already spilling out into the front yard with red solo cups in their hands. Misa had taken off as soon as she got out of her car and saw her crush from her chemistry lab waving at her from the front porch.

This house is big enough for me to avoid Jax. I'll be fine, I'll try to have a good time. Right? Shit, I don't know. Parties aren't really my thing, but I could use a drink after finally finishing midterms. Maybe after a few drinks I'll be in a better mood? I've been feeling guilty again though, for not telling Misa about what happened between me and Jax last year. But she wanted me to be here and I want her to be happy. I can just avoid him, it'll be fine.

You take another deep breath at the bottom of the porch steps that were already being littered by beer cans and red solo cups before catching up with Misa.

She's always been the type to blend in and socialize so easily. A simple toss of her hair over her shoulder and a cheeky smile was all it took sometimes.

She pulls you into the crowd and yells over the music.

"HEY, LISTEN BABE I WANT YOU TO MEET SOME OF MY FRIENDS FROM ENGLISH LIT!"

It was hard to explain the feeling that surfaces as you weave through the crowd. The lights, the music, and bodies bumping into each other. It all felt surreal. But eventually you'll step outside again and it's back to the same old shit.

Before you know it you're being pulled into a room. Fairy lights adorned the ceiling, a red solo cup rolls across the floor, and someone is laughing way too loud over the music.

You've always been awkward when it comes to meeting new people. But Misa hands you a drink and after a few sips you find yourself being able to chat with her friends.