When We Collide

Waking Up

I've awakened from who knows where. I know I'm not actually awake I'm just back in that state where I can hear everything around me and still think to myself. I feel someone's hand brush over mine. It's soft and warm, it's also shaking. The  hand intertwines their fingers in mine, I don't know who's hand it is, but all I want to do is squeeze it back. To let that person know I'm here. But I can't. It's like I'm trapped inside my body. I feel and hear everything but why can't I open my eyes, or speak aloud, or simply squeeze the other hand in mine? The hand is soft.. Refreshing.. Peaceful. "how is she doing" I hear a voice say from across the room. It sounded like my mom's voice. "still no response." now that voice startled me. Who was that? The voice was deep and husky, but it held no emotion. A voice I didn't recognize at all. I hear my mom get up and make her way over to me and the stranger beside my bed. "it'll be okay Eli" my mother said. Eli sighs, "it's not okay, I can't help feeling this is my fault". "You didn't cause the accident Eli, it's not your fault that Sarah is gone." My mother whispered softly to him. Dead.. Sarah's dead? All of a sudden everything got all blurry and then like a TV turning on, an image of flames came to my vision. Smoke filling my lungs.. I could feel the heat from whatever was on fire.. I could see Sarah laying limp in the passenger seat, I could feel someone pulling me out of the car. And then when I was out, the car bursting into even bigger flames. And then the image was gone. My heart felt like it was going to explode. My best friend is dead, and all I can remember is a car blowing up. It's my fault. All of it. I need to wake up! I HAVE to wake up. What happened to me? What happened to Sarah?

"She's so still..so peaceful.." Eli said, "do you think she can hear us?" "I'm not sure, I mean I'm sure if she could hear us she'd wake up already, what if she doesn't remember?" My mom said. Remember? What am I suppose to be remembering, this has to be a dream, a figment of my imagination or something, this isn't possible. I need to wake up. Wake up, wake up, wake up. Why can't I wake up? I feel a squeeze on my hand again, soft fingertips, gentle like a butterflies wings caressing the palm of my hand to the tips of my fingers and back. This is peaceful, relaxing. I've never felt so calm in my life. "How do you know Olivia?" My mom asks Eli. It got quiet all of a sudden. The stroking on my hand seized. "I don't. I was driving behind her when I saw the accident. I tried to grab them both, I really did, the only way I could even get to Sarah was if I pulled Olivia out. But, I was too late.."Eli trailed off. He sounds so deeply hurt. This stranger, my hero, is blaming himself for something he had no control over, and what's haunting my mind is.. what happened, why did the car go up into flames... why did he save me? What happened to Sarah? "Eli what happened to Sarah is not your fault, you couldn't get to her. You saved a complete strangers life, because of you I have my daughter still." My mother exclaimed. "It's not enough.." Eli whimpered. "That's enough for right now, don't stress yourself over it, it wasn't your fault, it wasn't anyone's, we'll talk more on this tomorrow. Do you mind staying with Olivia tonight? I have to go meet her father at the airport, he took the next flight back home as soon as he heard. I trust you'll keep an eye on her."  Eli replied, "yes of course I'm not leaving her side." "That's good to know, have a goodnight." I felt my mom's lips brush against my cheek, and then her footsteps dissipate down the hallway of the hospital.

So it's just Eli and I.  Everytime he squeezes my hand it sends a jolt to my heart. "Olivia you have to wake up, please." The pain in his voice slices through me, making my heart ache. "Do you remember what happened? Eli asked, even though he knows he can't hear my response. That's a good question, I don't remember, and that frustrates me. I remembered a fire.. the intense burning sensation that was flashing across my body, remembering someone pulling me out of the car, the image of Sarah laying limp in the passenger seat with her head against the dash.. Stop it, don't do this to yourself. All of a sudden another flash happened like before, like a TV turning on and images popped in my head, I was driving, listening to the radio Sarah in the passenger seat singing along with me. We were all smiles everything almost perfect, I turn my head for not even a second to smile at Sarah, then I see the look of  horror on her face in the direction of the road, I turn my head back to the road. A huge Semi was pulling out of a  building, he didn't see me and it was too late for him to stop anyways. I slammed my foot on the brake, Sarah's head hitting the dash- then the image stopped and I was back in this lonely state of mind, a monologue if you ask me. Eli squeezes my hand again and sighs. I sigh too, well in my head. So far I'm still a mute, an annoyed mute who needs to wake her ass up and get the story from Eli. Another flash, when the semi hit us it hit the passenger side knocking Sarah around. Blood was dripping from the temple of her head. Glass was everywhere, when the Semi made contact with my tiny car the front side bursted into flames swallowing Sarah and I both with blistering heat. I gasp and was taken aback but this time not in that dream state. I was actually awake.