When We Collide

When the Bandages Come Off

It's been a week since I've come home from the hospital, and two weeks since the accident. Eli has come over every single night dutifully to make sure I've eaten and taken my medicine. In a way I kind of feel like a child but without his company I would be even more bored than I am now. I've put off work as long as I can but I can't run from it any longer. It'll be a welcome distraction. Mom is coming over early tomorrow morning to drop off the new car I will be driving from now on. My car was not able to be salvaged. I'll miss my little cooper. Tomorrow will be my first official day back to work, and today is the day my bandages can officially come off and not have to be reapplied. I'm scared to see what I'll look like.. how much I'll be scarred. Eli agreed to take me, I'm scared he won't even want to look at me once the bandages come off. I wouldn't want to look at me. I haven't looked in a mirror since the first time I took my bandages off to take a shower.

"Hey, you ready to go?" Eli calls from the entrance of my bedroom door. I nod yes and make my way to his truck. I'm tense the whole ride to the doctor's office. "It won't be that bad Olivia, go in there with a positive attitude." I scoff, "Why so I can get my hopes up?" He shakes his head at me but doesn't say anything more until we pull into the parking lot. "Remember, positive." Ugh, I want to hug him and slap him all at the same time. "Have a seat and Doctor Meyer will be with you shortly." The young woman at the front desk said with a slight smile. I sit down and ball my hands up in my lap twisting my fingers due to nerves. Eli puts his hand on mine and separates them, "Stop, it'll be fine. Would you like me to go in there with you?" I mull over his question for a few minutes. Yes and no. I want someone to hold my hand when the bandages come off. I look up shyly at him, "Could you hold my hand when we go in?" He smiles, "Of course."

"Olivia, we're ready for you now." I look up to see a smiling Doctor Meyer. Ah Shit. Here we go. Eli grabs my hand as we stand up and make our way to the back. "Nice to see you again, Eli." Doctor Meyer smiles warmly at him. "Likewise Doctor Meyer" Eli nods at her and gives her a small smile, nothing like the megawattt smiles he gives me. "Olivia have you been putting on the salve I gave you to minimize scarring." I nod my head fiercly. "Alright, good. Now lets have a looksee." I close my eyes tight and squeeze Eli's hand even tighter as I feel the first bandage come off. Then the second, the third, and finally the last one on my leg. I hear Doctor Meyer shuffle around the room so I slowly peak my eyes open. She holds out a medium sized mirror in front of me. "Would you like to see?" she asks softly. "Not really." I say as I grab the mirror.

The skin is less irritated than it was before. It's a dark pink and it's almost as if someone took a dark pink pen and traced designs on my right side of my body. But, these designs aren't pretty, not even close. They're disgusting. Tears well up in my eyes as I look at the scar that circles my right eye, it follows down my cheek and down my chin and neck. I tear my hand from Eli's grasp and put it up to my mouth, attempting to smother my sobs. It's useless, they come out anways in choked gasps. "Let me see Olivia.." Eli says quietly from the corner of the room. I turn my face away from him, "No, lets go." "Olivia your burn wounds have healed beautifully. You are very lucky." I barely turn to look at Doctor Meyer as I thank her and grab my purse to leave. I hear her say to Eli behind me, "This happens all the time. Give her some time, she'll come around."  I roll my eyes, "come around", how could I possibly get used to this or accept this? My skin and body is ruined. I'm so ruined.

The whole car ride home I keep my face tucked snuggly into the window of Eli's truck, making sure he can't see me. I don't want anyone to see me. How am I supposed to go back to work and wait tables with my face looking like this? Eli pulls into my driveway and turns the engine off, he turns in his seat his body completely facing me. I shove myself furthing into his truck. "You can't hide it from me forever Olivia. I'll see it some time." I peak over at him, he's sitting. His arms are crossed behind his neck. He looks relaxed, the complete opposite of what I'm feeling at this moment. "Lets go inside." I whisper from the passenger seat. He follows closely behind me. I stand awkwardly in the middle of my living room. I take a deep breath and turn around slowly. I watch Eli as his eyes start from my feet and slowly make their way up my body. I figit, feeling uncomfortable. He stops at my face and just stares into my eyes. "I don't get it, what's so bad?" Oh bless him. I roll my eyes, "Everything Eli. Everything is so bad." I sit down on the couch and throw my head into my hands. It takes 3 solid steps until Eli is seated beside me on the couch, his arm thrown over me and rubbing soothing circles on my back. "Listen to me, you look absolutely beautiful. So don't think otherwise."

I lift my head up from my hands and look at him like he's the dumbest person ever. "Are you kidding me? Anywhere I go people will look at me. No guy will want to date me because of this. No one!" I exclaim. He just stares at me, a blank stare. His eyes tell me nothing. "You have no idea how lucky you are.." Eli whispers as he gets up and heads for the door. He doesn't even turn around to say goodbye. "I'll see you tomorrow" Eli says before the door closes behind him. I just sit there, staring at the door and wondering what the hell just happened. What crawled up his ass.. I jump up from the couch and make my way to my bathroom. I need a shower. Wash this day from my body. I stand and look at myself in the mirror for the second time in a week. He just doesn't understand.