When We Collide

First Day Back

It's too early for this. Too early to be dealing with my mother. She's trying to busy herself around my house as I get dressed. There isn't much to clean, I swear everytime Eli comes over he cleans up my mess. I step out of my room wearing the simple blue polo shirt along with my khaki shorts, my work uniform for a quaint little beach cafe I work at. My mother stops in her tracks and eyes me up and down slowly. Her face twists as if she is in physical pain for what I look like. She rips her eyes from me and barely makes eye contact with me as she heads for the front door. If my own mother can barely look at me, how is a customer supposed to be able to handle this?

Just as we make our way to the driveway Eli pulls up in his truck behind my new car. He smiles at me as he gets out and heads over. He gives my mom a small hug and greets her with a warm smile. "Alright Olivia, lets see how you like your new car. I picked a bigger car because of what happened last time. I thought something bigger would be safer." I open the car door slowly and slide in. My hands slowly reach up to grasp the wheel, and then it hits me.  I start coughing profusely as the smoke starts to fill my lungs. It burns, everything burns. I'm pulling and pulling but her seatbelt wont release. "Come on!!!" I scream. I can't breathe anymore. It hurts too much. It feels like I've swallowed a piece of hot coal and its stuck in my throat. "Let her go!!" No matter what I do the seatbelt wont let go. She's stuck. Sarah's stuck and the fire is getting bigger. Someone grabs me from behind and pulls me out, I reach for Sarah trying to hold onto her, "Let go of me! I can't leave her! Let me go!" I'm screaming bloody murder at this point. I'm kicking and screaming.

"Olivia, Olivia!" I blink my eyes a couple of times till everything comes back into focus. Eli has his arms wrapped tightly around me. My face is wet with tears and my heart is beating a million times a minute as I fight to control my erratic breathing. "You just pulled me out! You didn't let me save her!" I try shoving him away from me but he only grips me tighter to him. "Olivia the only way I could get to her was to pull you out first. By the time I pulled you out of the car it had imploded into bigger flames and it was impossible to get her after that. I tried, I really tried." Eli's words are sincere, I know he's telling the truth and I know this is just as hard for him as it is for me. " I can't drive Eli. I can't. Can you please take me to work?" I say as I wipe the tears from my eyes and attempt to make the puffiness go away. "Of course Olivia." I look up to see my mother standing at the front of the car with her arms crossed. She doesn't look happy. "Olivia, Eli can't be here everyday to take you to work. You're going to have to get over this and learn to drive yourself." I sit back as if her words punched me in the face. Eli's mouth drops open shocked at her words just as much as I am.  "Are you fucking kidding me right now? I get in an accident a little over two weeks ago. An accident in which my best friend died at my hands and you expect me to be ready to sit behind the wheel again? Are you fucking kidding me right now!?" She steps back as if I slapped her. "You need help Olivia, I'm not going to stand around and watch you throw your life away over some accident." She storms off towards her car and is speeding down the road. "Are you okay Olive?" Eli whispers from the left of me. "Yes, god knows her nor my father were around to watch me grow up, why should she watch my life get destroyed now? Lets just go." I slam the car door behind me and make my way to Eli's truck climbing in and crossing my arms. He's just standing there, he looks confused. I peak my head out through the window and say, "well are you coming?"

***

There's a steady flow of customers as the day progresses. It hasn't been good but it hasn't been bad either. People take one look at me and then after they refuse to make eye contact with me. But thank god no one makes any comments or asks me what happened. I can deal with the no eye contact. I make my way over to small table in the corner of the cafe, "Here you go Al, just the way you like it. Strong and black. Enjoy your coffee." He looks up from his newspaper and squints at me. "What happened to your pretty face?" He asks confused. I freeze, he isn't asking to be rude, it's genuine concern. Al has been a customer here for six years. He comes here everyday at the same time to read his paper and drink his coffee. "Some other time Al." I smile at him weakly and turn and make my way to the back. "Whenever you're ready hun" He calls from behind me. I knew this would be a problem, it's not something you just look over. It's blatanly obvious and people look at me like I'm a freak because of it. Eli picks me up at exactly seven o'clock. He smiles at me warmly as I get in. "Hi, how was your first day back?" "How 'bout you ask me that over a six pack?" He grins and puts the truck in drive.