Darkness vs Light(ness): The World's Most Parody-ish Pokémon Fanfiction

Chapter 2 (or is it?)

(Mary-Sue's POV)

We walked down the narrow dirt path on the sunny day. Tailow and Pidgey followed us around for no reason, and the waters to the east rippled and shimmered, chock full of Magikarp and Goldeen flashing about. My arms had now gotten around his toned waist and I was hugging him and gently kissing his cheek. He didn't mind, he was too busy rubbing my back and snogging my neck. Eventually, his hand went so low, it almost hit my tail. I flinched backwards, red-faced. He couldn't see my tail, he would think I'm a freak.

"Sorry, did I go too fast?" Gary asked, ever naïve.

"Yeah, let's just start at first base, for now." I answered quickly. I needed him to know I was still interested.

"When can we get to second base?" he winked. Before I could reply, Gold suddenly yelled "WE'RE HERE!!!!!" We had arrived at a sleek one-story building, a sign in front of the building saying it was Professor Tree's PokéLab. I figured a laboratory would have been at least two stories to hold all the junk, but whatever.

"You ready, Silver?" Gold asked, nudging into Silver.

"What?" Silver looked up from cleaning blood off of his knife.

"Oh, nothing! Let's just go get our POKÉMON!!!!!!!!111!!1!1!1!1!!1!1!1!1!1!!1!1!1!1!" Gold yelled. We eagerly walked into the building to see plain white walls and random equipment thingies that I didn't know the names of. Professor Tree, with his brown hair and pale skin ('cause who's heard of a African-American Professor?), smiled at us.

"Hello! Welcome to the world of Pokémon! Now are you a boy, or a girl?" We all looked at each other, then back at him.

"Who are you talking to?" Silver growled.

"Excellent!" The Professor said anyway. "Who's ready to get their very own Pokémon?" We all cheered. You see, in our region of Poncho, you can get any Pokémon from any region you want. Thus is because we don't have any new Pokémon of our own, despite being a brand new region. Gold picked up a Cyniquill, Silver got a Charmander, and Gary picked a Froakie. Finally. It was my turn!

"A female Fenniken, shiny please." I asked. Professor Tree looked in the back room and came back when he found a shiny Fenniken. However, I just looked at it blankly.

"Are you sure it's female?"

"Yes."

"You sssssuuuuuurrrrrreeeee?"

"Yes." There was suddenly a long pause.

"Can I check it's undercarriage?"

"Sure, go ahead." I checked quickly,

"Hey, it IS a boy Fenniken...."

"Smokebomb!" The professor yelled, disappearing into a cloud of smoke. We all stared at where he was, confused,

"Wait, we don't have Pokédexs!" Gold yelled, only for four devices to tumble onto the table from the ceiling. Choosing to ignore the weirdness, we grabbed the Dex and made our way to Route 10001. We started on our journey, making out and hanging out until I saw some clean, crisp water. I suddenly wanted to swim in it; needed to swim in it, but I couldn't just jump into the water and show everyone my terrible secret.

"Hey guys, why don't we set up camp here?" I tried to ask casually.

"But we've only been walking for 3 minutes!" Gold whined. Eventually, we convinced him to have us start camp here (with help from Gary's charm and Silver's lead pipe) and I snuck over to the lake while the guys made dinner. I shimmied off my clothes and jumped into the water, feeling the liquid melt into my skin. I had no idea if it was from my Slowpoke side or my human side, but water always made me feel so relaxed. I let out Celebi and Mew to chat and hang out.

"Yay! Mary! Where's my bento box?" Mew giggled.

"You ok?" Celebi asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just going on a journey with my brand new friends! I'm gonna beat all the Gyms and catch new Pokémon, and marry Gary!" I was so excited. I had never been on a journey, I had always been shy with my tail and everything. But Gary made me feel so alive!

"Sounds fun! You got my bento box?" Mew laughed. Celebi, on the other hand, stayed silent.

"Hey, you ok Celebi?" I asked.

"Yeah, I just really don't think it's a good idea to travel with those guys. What if they find out your secret?!? What if they...hurt....you?"

"Then I'll have to risk it. I can't be nervous forever and I need to have people be able to trust me."

"Are you just saying that because you want to get busy with Gary Stew over there?" She narrowed her eyes.

"AM I EVER GOING TO GET A DANG BENTO BOX!" Mew yelled, angry but still giggling.

"Mew, yes, as soon as they're done making dinner. Celebi, that is SO not the only reason! I like all the guys equally! And I KNOW I can trust them, ok?" Before she could respond, a bullet whizzed by our heads and into a rocky cliff nearby.

"Sorry, my aim slipped! I was trying to hit a Sentret!" Silver yelled from the camp.

"We finished making dinner. It's beef stew! Come get it while it's piping hot!" Gary said. I smiled at Celebi.

"See? I'll be fine." I put them back into their Pokéballs, put my dress back on, and ran to get me some Stew (the Gary kind, not the beef kind.)

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Wow, done already! You guys must be loving me (and by you guys, I mean the 4 people who have read this) I started this on a whim, but I've cleared my head and I think I got me a plan for this. This might get to be updated every day of two, as it's much easier than I thought to write. It's easier to write about 1000 words compared to a average of 4000, that's for sure. So I think I'll try to update this every day and Lavender League every week or two, with, of course, my crazy schedule making things hard. You understand, right? *dead silence* I KNEW this would happen! I need to talk to my advertising directors.....

Thanks so much for reading!

~Nooblyn