The First Day of School

You've been warned.

The bell rings, and everyone walks into theri homerooms. Bob and jom wlk side by side to their seats.

"What'd you do this summer?" Jom questions his friend Bob.

"I went hunting." Bob stated.

"What did you hunt?" Jim asks.

"MANY MUCH MOOSEN!" Bob stated forcefully.

Everyone turned around to stare at him with a 'WTF' look. Jim looked passed his friend Bob to the kid beside him.

"Hey, what's your name?" He asked.

The kid turned towards him with a crazy twitch in his eye and whispered demandingly while standing up.

"I am Draco Malfoy. I'm a racist. I despise gingers and mudbloods. I hate Gryffindor house, and my parents work for the man who killed your parents. Do you want to be my friend?" He finished staring directly into Jim's eyes challenging him to say no.

"Okay.. so..." he said nervously "What's your favourite animal?" He asked awkwardly.

"NEVER TRUST A DUCK!" The crazy kid screamed and then suddenly sat down and acted as though he had never said a word.

~~*~~

The teacher began calling roll.

"Bob?"

"Here."

"Jim?"

"Sally?"

"Present."

"Marco?"

"POLO! HA! I GOT YOU! YOU STUPID HUMANS!" shouted the self-acclaimed 'Draco'.

The teacher looked up for a moment and then moved on.

"So, lets start with an icebreaker. How about a joke? Does anyone have joke?" the teacher asked.

"What about the joke wher you throw confetti in the air?" Sally asked.

"I haven't written that joke yet," 'Draco said staring blankly ahead, "because it's based on this converstation! GOTCHA!" he shouted as he threw confetti in the air.

~~*~~

After a while everyone settled down. Jim and his friend Bob started talking again.

"Hey, Jim?" Bob said.

"Yeah, Bob?" Jim stated curiously.

"You remember that time you dropped your ice cream on the ground?" he said.

"Yeah, I remember." Jim stated rolling eyes beacause Bob had brought this up at least a million times.

"Well the nect time that happens, you pick it up and you eat it. Bitch." he finished staring coldly into Jim's eyes.

"Okay Bob." Jim rolled his eyes again.

~~*~~

The teacher began to talk about upcoming activities and events. Apparently 'Pi' day was coming up.

"How about you make a pie for the class 'Draco'?" the teacher asked looing towards him.

"I can't make pie for three reasons," 'Draco began, "one, I don't have any pie ingredients. Two, I don't actually know how to make pie." he stated.

"And three?" the teacher questioned.

"Because I'm not your bitch." 'Draco' stated sharply.

The entire class gasped in astonishment.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" 'Draco' screamed looking around at the class.

~~*~~

"Hey, are you still with your girl?" Bob asked Jim.

"Nah man. We broke up, she doesn't like biting, but biting's great! It's like kissing - only there's a winner."

~~*~~

"Since you can't make pie, how about some lemon-aid?" the teacher asked.

"When life gives you lemons, make lemon-aid. Then throw it back in the face of the person who gave you the lemons, and demand the oranges you originally asked for." 'Draco' stated staring blankly at the wall.

The teacher walked to the door and then turned to look at the class.

"Get ready for a plane ride to Hell, and the inflight movie - Super Hell." He smiled creepily and walked out of the room.

~~*~~

The bell rang and all the students ran outside to wait for their rides. The boys' cars pulled up and they all looked at eachother smiling.

 "See you in Hell."