SIETE

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"Niall, please talk to us," Zayn begs. He's kneeling in front of Niall where he's balled up against the wall.

"Please -- please don't touch --" Niall chokes out. He feels like he's drowning. He can't breathe.

"No one's touching you, sweet angel," Zayn says gently. "We're not going to touch you."

Niall is too far gone, though. He is gone to three days ago, and he just squeezes his eyes shut, buries his face in his hands.

- - -

They don't ask him again after he calms down. Clearly it's way too touchy, but Zayn is worried that it's something way worse than they're anticipating. No one wants to set Niall off again, though, so he curls up on the floor an hour later and goes to sleep.

"What if it's, like, really bad?" Zayn whispers. His gaze flickers over to Niall's tiny, balled up body on the floor. The last time Zayn had seen him sleep, he'd been curled up against his chest, skin soft and pink, breath warm against Zayn's shoulders. He had to look away. 

Liam shrugs. "I don't think we're going to get a straight answer out of him."

"Whatever it is, it's got him fucked up bad," Harry says softly. His hand searches for Liam's in the dark. Liam's hand finds his, takes it. Liam is his anchor. Liam won't let him float away. 

"If he wants us to know, he'll tell us," Liam says. "We can't force it out of him. Zayn, don't look at me like that, you know I'm right." Liam is right, of course, but Zayn wants to know what's wrong so he can fix it. He juts out his lower lip, staring over at Niall.

- - -

Niall is dreaming.

He doesn't know it, though, like people rarely do when they're asleep. His dreams are uneventful until he realizes he knows this setting.

[TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE]

"No," he chokes out. Henry. Henry on top of him, his hand at his throat. Niall's skin, red, hot all over. Henry's mouth at his ear.

Henry's voice, words filthy. "Stop crying. You like it." Niall cries out in his sleep. Not again. Not again. He can't. Henry thrusting into him, dirty hand over Niall's mouth. Niall bites his fingers until he tastes blood, but Henry doesn't let go, doesn't stop. 

Niall can't breathe. Henry is so heavy on top of him. He is losing the will to fight, and eventually he just lays there, crying. He cries until Henry finishes and pulls out of him. He's unsure of how that even felt good to him, considering he didn't even use lube. He gives Niall a greasy smile and leaves the janitor's closet where he'd taken everything from Niall without a care.

[DONE]

Niall is still screaming when Zayn shakes him, and he startles so badly that he smacks his head against the wall that he was curled up against. He blinks, and his gaze focuses on Zayn's face, and Niall starts to cry all over again. He loves Zayn so much, but there's no chance for anything now. 

"Tell me," Zayn demands. Liam and Harry are coming up behind him, so much worry in their eyes. "Niall, tell me what he did to you."

"No," Niall sobs. "No, no, no..."

"Tell me." He squeezes Niall's shoulders, and Niall jerks back when he realizes Zayn is touching him. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I forgot." He lowers his hands to his sides, and Niall relaxes. "Baby, we know it's bad, whatever he did."

"H-How do you know anyone did anything?" Niall sniffles.

"You were screaming his name," Harry answers. "Asking him to stop."

Niall buries his face in his hands again. Can he say the words? Can he even bear to talk about what happened? What he let happen?

"I let him rape me," he whispers, and then he's doubled over, because the air has left him. He can't breathe. "I couldn't stop him," he chokes. "He wouldn't get off, not even when I bit him..." He's crying again. Niall is so tired of crying. "I couldn't stop him, and now I'm dirty, I'm so dirty!" His sobs hurt his chest. "I showered four times that night and I'll still never be clean, and you can't touch me, you can't, because you'll be dirty, too!" He shrinks back from them, still crying, but Zayn reaches for him, and Harry catches him gently by the waist.

"Niall." Liam speaks first. "None of this is your fault."

"Sweetheart, he is garbage. He is the scum of the Earth for what he did to you, and believe me, love, he will pay," Zayn says darkly. Niall can see the fire in his eyes. "None of this is your fault. Niall, look at me." Niall does. "None of this is your fault. We love you so much, Ni, and we're so sorry we couldn't protect you --" Niall is horrified to see a tear trickle down Zayn's face. "I'll do everything I can to make it up to you."

"I didn't want  you to know. Isn't your fault. Isn't any of your faults," Niall says firmly. And even though it makes his skin crawl to do so, he hugs each of them for a long time, nuzzling his cheek into their necks and telling them that he loves them, because he does.

No matter what, he knows these three will keep him safe.


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