No Ordinary Romance (BOOK 1)

Chapter 27

Samuel left the hospital two days later with a scar on his chest but nothing else to mark his ordeal.

Madame Fournier was so pleased when he returned to the boarding house that she served them free supper despite the protests of both him and Phoebe.

"Non, non! I make you best meal you ever had!" She cried in her think accent and bustled off to the kitchen, whistling loudly.

"I visited Mr. Ritterman and explained that you had been attacked. Unfortunately he is not an understanding man and you've been sacked." Phoebe said, sitting across from her husband.

"Really? Maybe I should've informed him that my sister's assailant could possibly attack me. Well, I'll know next time." Samuel said grumpily and Phoebe giggled. "What's so funny?" He raised his eyebrow and she laughed again.

"You're such a strange fellow. At first you were so cruel, then awfully sweet. After the first day I met you I thought I'd never find love and be trapped in a loveless marriage and have an utterly awful life. I was very fortunate that I happened to fall in love with you." She said.

"Did you think it would be so hard?" Samuel asked.

"Oh yes. You were a horrid person you know. But I think everyone can be and it is up to us if we choose to be horrid or be strive to be good."

"I doubt you can be horrid at all."

"I provoked you that day in the garden. I urged you. I always knew I was ugly and weak but hearing it from someone else gave me a kind of self-loathing. Look." She rolled up the lace around her sleeves to reveal faded scars on her wrist that Samuel had never noticed before. "When I was mad at myself or at anyone I would take my sewing scissors and cut my wrists. It gave me a strange satisfaction to see the blood pool out. It never occurred to me that it could be dangerous. Once when I was sixteen I cut too deeply. I tried to bandage it up but it was no use. I was frightened and I rushed to my sister's room. She saw what I had done and woke my father. We rushed to the doctor's and I was saved in time. After that I always had a fear of being cut or stabbed. That's why when South stabbed you and I saw you in the hospital I became so frightened." She said and looked down.

"Oh my darling," Samuel said quietly. "Did I cause this, this cutting?" He asked, the guilt and disgust at himself rising in his chest like a buoy.

"No. Not entirely." She said and laughed softly. "I was always very insecure and it wasn't entirely you."

"But I didn't help you!"

"True. But when I was fourteen there was a boy named Frank. He was the son of some lord of another and we met at my sister's birthday gathering. He was the handsomest boy I'd seen, not much older than me and I fancied him the moment I saw him. We were introduced and he took little notice of me but I couldn't stop thinking about him.

A few weeks later I saw him again at a picnic held by my Aunt, the Countess of Ingleby. That day we played a game and someone dared me to kiss the handsomest boy on the cheek. Of course I went to kiss Frank's cheek and everyone laughed. Another person dared Frank to kiss the prettiest girl and he kissed my cousin Rose. Afterwards I asked him why I wasn't the one he kissed and he told me I was a stupid little girl who was equally ugly as senseless and that he felt sorry for whatever gentlemen I ended up marrying." Phoebe said and laughed softly. "After that day was when I started the cutting."

"Oh Phoebe, I am so sorry," Samuel said. "I cannot believe I or he, could've been so cruel."

"Samuel, it wasn't your fault. It was mine. I shouldn't have taken the opinions of others so seriously."