Empty [h.s.]

Chapter 5 "Ok fine."

A/N: Quick note, I would appreciate if you guys would listen to Shake It Out by Florence and the Machine during the beginning of this chapter. It will make reading this chapter probably more emotional. Sorry. Ok, back to the story! Happy Reading!!

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"Grace?" When those words left Harry's lips it was like all my darkest moments of the past week came rushing back to me, and so did a tidal wave of emotions.

"Harry..." I said slightly breathlessly, because that is what Harry's presence does to me. Just looking at him or hearing him say my name took my breath away almost completely.

"Where have you been? I have been trying to get ahold of you for the past week." Harry said approaching me. I could tell based on how he was tugging at the roots of his hair he was slightly frustrated.

"I've been busy, Harry. I'm sorry." I said hoping he wouldn't be angry with me.

"It's ok, love." Harry said wrapping me in his arms and resting his chin on my head. It has been a long time since he has called me love. He hasn't called me that since before he stared dating Lisa...

"It's good to have you here." Harry said into my hair.

"It's good to be here." I said referring more to him holding me in his arms than the house we were currently standing in.

"Hey, I've got some good news for you." Harry said finally pulling away from the hug, I wanted to whimper in protest, but I resisted. Oh no, the last time Harry told me he had good news I found out Lisa and him were getting married. Oh shit, what if now she is pregnant?!

"I've been trying to tell you this all week, but since you apparently refuse to answer your phone I'm just going to have to tell you now. Lisa wants you to be a bridesmaid." Harry said bitting his lip slightly. What is she trying to rub it in now or something?

"I don't believe that, it couldn't possibly be her idea to have me be a bridesmaid. Harry, she hates my guts! There is no way, no." I said in disgust.

"Ok, so it wasn't her idea. Actually it was mine. I thought you guys could get to know each other better, you know, bond a little." Harry said lightly nudging my arms with his elbow.

Trust me, I already know her fine. I thought in my head.

I take a deep breath, "Ok, fine."

"Great!" Harry said happily, clapping his hands together and leaving me by the door. I guess I will do anything to see him smile...

I make my way up the stairs into the guest bedroom I usually stay in. I am assuming Harry and Lisa are staying in his old childhood bedroom. Little does Lisa know we both lost out virginities to each other in that room, on that bed, and on that same exact mattress...

I set my suitcase at the foot of the guest bed, and come to a realization.

I'm tired of being alone.

It always seems to end up with me being alone in the end every time. I wish I could love somebody as much as I love Harry. I wish that person would love me back. It just seems no guy will ever live up to Harry in my mind. If I got down on my knees and told Harry I would be his forever would he tell me him loves me too and that he has been waiting for the day I said those words, and we would live happily ever after? Or would he walk away like I completely expect him to and find me to be a fool?

My thoughts are to jumbled right now, and I have a solid hour before dinner is served. So I grab my laptop bag and pull out my computer, I lift open the lid and begin to write on my blog once again...

"
Dear Whoever Actually Reads This Blog,

Well, here I am again. Venting my feelings out on the poor, undeserving internet. I am truly sorry that I have no better way to cope with my problems, but this is what works for me so I might as well continue. It is a lot cheaper to do this than pay some therapist. Anyway, back to my real problem. Thanksgiving is the time of year to give thanks, obviously, but what if your not thankful for anything? Does that make me a bad person? I mean, I just found out a week ago that the love of my life is marrying another woman who hates me. He is not allowed to be with me by himself or even to go out with some of his guy friends and do laddy stuff. She has the boot down on him so why should I be thankful to see the person I love most go through that. I have spent the last week lounging around and barely eating because I have been so depressed over this engagement, and get this, today my dream boat man comes up to me and asks me to be a bridesmaid in the wedding. He said it would be good for me to bond with the bride. What? Does he not see I have been purposely been ignoring him and pretty much everyone else in society for the past week? Now that Thanksgiving is tomorrow I will have to sit at the same dinner table as the both of them and see him look at her the way I wish he would look at me. I will have to put on a brave face and not let how much it hurts me show. I will laugh and act like I am having the time of my life, but secretly inside I will be slowly dying. Every little thing they will do together as a couple will hurt me more and more. And the dagger will dig deeper and deeper into my heart. How will I make it through? What kind of life will I have once he is finally married to her? Will I die an old maid? Always the bridesmaid never the bride? It seems that is just the way it is going to have to be. Sucks for me.

Thanks for listening,

Just Grace"

I glance at the clock and notice I should be downstairs in five minutes for dinner. I quickly post it to my blog and shove my computer back in its bag. Thanksgiving tomorrow should be interesting.....

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A/N: What do you think is gonna happen during Thanksgiving dinner??? I wanna know what you think, leave me comments on what you think/thought.

Niki xx