The Winter Born [COMPLETED]

Chapter 35 - Gavin

The once dank tavern has now turned into a place to plan strategies for the upcoming war. Men and women littered around the long table with the map of the Outlands and Valaria on it. It's a small thing and people squeeze together to take a look.

I sit across the blond man and I remind myself of his name that I overheard-- Gavin. A brave commander from the lands beyond the sea, though I do not which one. I haven't bothered asking because I do not care about him.

Happiness leeched out of me when I was wounded by that Valarian. Ethan filled it back in and bled it out again. Just like other people do to me. He is no different.

People are around me, swarming to hear what the new commander is saying. He's been talking for at least an hour now, pointing to the pathetic excuse of a map and making plans. But all I hear is distant noises of his rough voice and sometimes, a slurp of my own ale.

Sometimes I bring my eyes to Gavin only for him to look back at him. His blond hair and blue eyes remind me of Caspien, and his wild behavior and loud warm laugh. I shake my head, pushing anyone that will distract me from giving all I have to this rebellion, this war. It is mine now. Thousands of lives depend on our victory to live. It may be the only thing worth doing.

I cast my eyes away from him and with a sigh, he explains the plan to the hearing people. Their faces are full of hope and I do not let myself imagine what it would look like if we lose. It brings pain and sorrow to my heart.

The snow is trickling down outside, the windows lacing with frost and I cup my warm jug of ale, letting the heat spread through my fingertips. I should not drink it. But it will make me forget Ethan for a while. So I chug it down, letting the burning water down my throat and into my belly.

Gavin says loudly in his gruff voice, "And we will go into Valaria in seven days time."

The crowds cheer but I stiffen. It's on the Winter Festival.

"I know some may say it is cruel to go to war on a day of thanks," Gavin tells the crowd as if reading my mind. "but it will give us the element of surprise. And if we do not, we will lose more souls than needed." Gavin looks towards the people, his blue eyes blazing. "Death to Valaria."

A chant that will be remembered through generations, he said.

It will, I think as the crowd chants the same words. "Death to the lion!"

I keep my mouth shut, feeling the aching hollow inside my heart. If we get there, Ethan..

I stop myself at the thought of his name. I haven't allowed myself to imagine his face since last month-- since Laila discovers my secret.

Laila. The name makes my chest tighten as if there is something expanding rapidly. Laila is not here-- as always. She's been busy doing whatever she does in the forest.

I want to follow her, to see what she is up to, but I cannot even let myself see the tall trees of the forest. It's a reminder of what will happen and what could've happened.

In my perfect world, Ethan and I are still together-- talking in the forest or just sitting at the edge of the lake, watching the water turn into ice and the snow falls. Laila is not a lunatic, and she is kind, just like before Father died. And Father.. he would still be alive-- healthy and smiling. There would be no rebellion because there is no need for it.

I know I shouldn't dwell in my fantasies. But it is so nice, and sweet to think of what could have happened if King Badgur didn't kill Father, or if I didn't kill the guard. Would they still rebel?