theories of the universe ;

Who do I want to be?

Who do I want to be?

It was a hard question. I spent most of my high school life studying, never leaving the house. My socialising was bare minimum and I only spent my time with the few close friends I had. I never did spend my time going to parties or even shopping with friends. Since high school ended not long ago, I started looking back at my memories and realise that my high school experience wasn't something to talk about. There was nothing to talk about and it pained me to think that I lived my life so ordinary. I am afraid that one day I would regret it. I am afraid that I would regret the places I didn't go because I was too introverted to socialise with people and often found it tiring to go out. I am afraid that I'd regret the people I have never met.

And with that I wanted to change. I wanted to change the person I was in high school. I wanted to be someone else in college.

But who did I want to be?

I looked at the lives around me and I realised, I wanted to be the kindness in my brother when he picks up something a stranger drops. I wanted to be the happiness in my grandmother's dentures when she laughs so hard it falls. I wanted to be the dedication in my grandfather's passion towards his work. I wanted to be selflessness in my mother when she gives up her last piece of pizza for me. I wanted to be the humbleness in my father's voice when he talks about his past and his future. I wanted to be the confidence in my cousin as she walks.

I wanted to a be a piece of everyone around me. I didn't want to lose the pieces of the people around me so I want to be it all.