The Spinster's Club

Amy: Part Five

"I am never ever ever drinking again." Cece downed the rest of her margarita. "I can't believe that happened. Jesus." She waved at the waitress and pointed at the table. "No more. Men and alcohol are two things that don't mix in my life."

"Amen sister." Romy lifted her glass. "Here's to no more booze."

"Agreed." Amy lifted her glass and Cass nodded, she was sipping her martini and otherwise engaged.

"So where we stand right now," Romy said, "is Cece spent a night drunk with a hunk. Amy is a man, Cass thinks snores are catcalls and I offered a real fireman a chance to use his pole."

There was a brief silence and then four women howled with laughter.

The waitress grinned as she collected empties and put four fresh drinks on the table. "Ladies night tonight?"

"Ladies night forever," Amy said. "We're going to become OWLs, thankyouverymuch."

"Owls?"

"Old, wise lesbians."

"Oh hell," Cass snorted. "Leave me out of that craziness."

"I could be a lesbian," Cece said thoughtfully, "as long as I didn't have to have sex with a woman."

"I think that misses the point," Romy pointed out.

"It is the point," Amy declared. "I am officially a transgenered, cross dressing lesbian from now on."

"You might not need that drink," the waitress said reaching out a hand.

Amy growled.

The waitress laughed and retreated.

"Okay," Cece said sipping from her new glass, "where are we standing? Romy has succeeded with the job challenge. Cass, where you at?"

"I interviewed for a job I don't think I want and I doubt I could get. And I did brilliantly at picking up a man as you all know."

"I haven't done shit," Amy moaned. "My love life is now worse than when we started, my job sucks even more because people are calling me Izambard's beard and I look the same. And I had such nefarious plans to bring you all down."

"That's okay sweet." Cece patted her friend's hand. "We know you meant to be evil."

"Your intent was good. Or bad which was good. Oh, you know what I mean," Cass agreed.

"You scare the shit out of me," Romy chimed in.

"Thanks guys." Amy blinked rapidly. "This means a lot to me." She took the nearest glass and drained it.

"Ames, that was my drink," Romy pointed out.

"Thought it tasted funny." Amy sighed and picked up another glass. "I don't know what I'm going to do with the job challenge. Or the challenge challenge."

"I need someone to paint my shop," Romy said.

"You can clean my bathroom," Cece offered. "I hate cleaning bathrooms."

"Maybe you could become a professional beard," Cass suggested. "Amy's Beard Service. You're Gay? Will You Pay? We'll pretend to be your girlfriend to fool your family, your homophobic boss, your pastor."

"I have to admit that you're all bitches," Amy said, "which is why I love you."

"Back atcha," Romy said.

"Doubles to you," Cece agreed.

"Learned from the master," Cass said tipping her glass in Amy's direction.