Nahsir
Nahsir Ohmad Scott is my name. Im the product of the rape of a mild retardation woman, Joy Faith Scott.
Joy in her circumstances being born to a rich black family was given up for adoption at a young age. At there status they couldnt risk there image with having a slow daughter so they paid any amount the people asked for to keep joy a hidden secret. Sitting in group home for six years they than realized no one wanted her and admitted her into a mental asylum at the tender age of seven. She was confined in one small room day and night because there was only adults at the facility she was not allowed to be in the general public. Her only form of communication was with the nurses her mother would often call to check on her but would never come see her. She was ashamed of her daughter she hadn't even known that her daughter taken after her. From the blue piercing eyes to her smooth chocolate skin her kinky shoulder length hair to her white perfect squared teeth even her coca cola shaped body.
At the age of twelve joy had a body that most women double her age hadn't had but wish they did.
It was her twelfth birthday, January 7th, 1988, this particular white nurse, John Mable, had lately taken an interest in the young girl Joy.
She continuously twirled around her small room in one of the dresses her mother had sent and the pretty plastic tiara nurse John had bought. She felt like the prettiest girl in the world, or so she writes in one of her many journals, anyway after she described the events of the day: John had bought her a small chocolate cake that was delicious and after they both had two pieces a piece she writes that john had said she probably tasted just like the cake cause her skin looked like it did. She went on to writing about how he asked if he could taste it
She didnt say yes or no but he continued with his advances. He had licked her lips first then her neck and so own.
Thats one part of her journal i could never bring myself to read. I skipped all the Way to the day i was born. Its bullshit that no one knew she was even pregnant until she went into labor no one knew john was even raping joy.
In her journal she writes today October 31st, 1988 i had my blessing i named him nahsir ohmad scott. I love my blessing
A couple days later she went on to talk about how her parents took her blessing away. Even though they wanted nothing to do with Joy i wasnt retarded so they wanted me.
I grew up all my life believing Sara and Chris Scott were my parents when i turned eighteen and was in my senior year i started to apply for colleges it was then i needed my birth certificate. And even though they had money, long money, there was no amount they could pay to have it altered.
Once they told me the full story i packed my shit and left with just ten gs to my name. Omar alias Heat being three years older than me let me move into his one bedroom apartment that he was already sharing with his younger brother Omari, later known as guch. But i aint care as long as i found my momma i was good. It took me six months but when i found her i was nervous to go see her. Afraid she wouldnt remember me afraid that she would be the down syndrome bitch my grandmother continuously called her as i left they house
Soon as i walked in the room i was taken back by the beautiful woman in the room tears instantly fell from my eyes i felt the connection. She was my mother and i was her blessing
She hugged and kissed me but wouldnt talk i didnt know why. But the silence wasnt awkward it felt normal like this was where i was supposed to be
When visiting hours were over and i was about to leave she stopped me and handed me all these journals. That night i sat up trying to read everyone. Even one of the was full of drawings of a baby that i later recognized to be me. My mother loved me. From the point on id visit her everyday and we grew a bond that could never be broken
She tapped on my face making me snap out the daze
"Wassup pretty lady"
"Birfday" she says before breaking into a fit of laughter
"Moma yo birthday three months away what you want this year more jewelry?" i asked making her head shake from side to side
"You birfday... Su..surprise.."
"Oh yea my birthday is coming in a couple of days... You got me a surprise what is it"
"Rae rae" she said before laughing and making a zipping sound and throwing the key
"Ma i love you... Im finna leave but ill be back in the morning with your journals until than dont call no more white people crackers aight"
She smiles before kissing my cheek and laying down i love that woman
