Nahsir
Thanksgiving came and went. I spent alone. It's crazy how just last year me and rae was announcing her pregnancy, Toby was alive everything was good. A lot of shit could happen in a year. It seems like the only blessing I got was having my baby kiyanne back in my life.
I took a swig from the bottle of henny I had sitting on my dresser the past two days.
Irritating with the knocking at my front door I stood to my feet to see who tf it was I really ain't in the mood for shit
"Rayland? What you doing here how'd you get here?"
"I ubered"
"Ok raes not here"
"I know she's at my moms I just left there"
"Oh wassup?"
"I know you and rae broke up or whatever-"
"We still together" I clarify for her. I told raes ass before she ain't going no where idgaf bout this attitude she got she's stuck with me and any nigga that think he can replace me gone find himself in a body bag
She laughs, "ok crazy ass... but like I was saying you're like my big brother and you told me I could come to you for anything"
"Right"
"And I already asked rae but she's taking to long to give me an answer I needa do this soon before I go back to North Carolina"
"You already know anything you need I got you"
"Ok I need $545"
I chuckle "Girl you got me thinking it's some serious shit here" I pull my phone out instantly cash apping her double what she asked for. Like she said she is my little sister and I'm so proud of her with the school shit
"And... I also need for you to take me to the abortion clinic"
"What the fuck!" I shout
"Nas please you don't understand I can't do this I don't want this baby!" She breaks down crying, "Ever since I found out I've been thinking of so many ways to just kill myself I feel so fucking stupid"
Hearing that took me aback. Honestly I always thought people who tried to commit suicide were weak af and I could never see that being Rayland, a girl who was so smart always smiling someone who seemed happy af. And yes raising a baby at her age would probably be hard but she knows despite what me and rae going on wed always be here for her
"I feel like a fucking hoe I don't know shit about the guy who fathered this baby. I'm fucking failure too! Rae and Toby went so hard for me to do something with my life and here I am another fucking statistic pregnant and probably gonna have to drop out of school"
"Rayland calm down alright you don't needa be stressing" I try and reason with her
"Why because I might miscarry! Good that's wtf I want I don't want this baby!"
Raegan
"You ok girl" one of coworkers ask
"Yea.. sorry one of my patients just passed" I wipe the stray tears
She laughs , "girl you gone have to toughen up if you work here. That's the norm it is a hospice. Don't feel so bad you made his last days and that's what your suppose to do. We're not tryna save lives were just preparing them for death" she bluntly speaks before walking out the break room
She's totally right and I honestly thought before I took the job I would be able to not get so attached. Shit maybe I was just crying because of all the shit going on in my life I really don't know what to do.
