It's love that keeps fueling me(Austin Carlile fanfic)

Chapter 2: I can feel the pressure

Austin POV

I looked out of the window and into the clouds I was in. I was tired, angry and really frustrated. All I could think about was getting away from Ohio and to get back home to relax. I'm 20 years old, I'm too young for all this unreasonable shit. I was on the verge of leaving Attack Attack, we already had all these issues with what we wanted after the EP came out. We had to work on a new album and everything had been so chaotic. We all decided to come together and a few stuff is in progress, but nothing major.....

In a few hours, I'd be home, I tried to concentrate on that. Soon, I would see Audree and everyone else. Even though I was in a relationship, I still had a thing for Audree. I was kinda drawn to her the moment I saw her almost 3 years ago and it's just grown ever since. I thought I would creep her out and that I'd never see her again that first night, but we became friends quickly. She was beyond beautiful, with her large blue eyes and her angelic face. It bothered me that someone such as herself was so sad that night. Something just compelled me to sit next to her, and now she was my best friend. I hated when people said she was like my sibling, cause that would mean that any chance I had of being with her was dead....and maybe it was.

I was scared of showing her how I felt. I cared about her too much to not have her in my life, so I've never really chased after her...some days I wanted to more than anything else but I lacked any courage to do so. I could leave everything behind and pursue a career with a band but I couldn't bring myself to ask Audree Luna out. I threw my head back and closed my eyes. I let out a big sigh. Damn everything and all this stress. Attack Attack was draining, I had the whole unresolved issue with my heart, this guy named Jaixin Hall was talking to me about starting a project and I was so unsure of how I felt about Audree...and Kate.

I liked Audree a lot, but when I met this girl Kate, I liked her as well. Not nearly as much as Audree, but I gave her a chance and things had been going great for a few months now. Part of me was torn. There was that small section of my heart that loved only Audree, not IN love, and then there was this larger part that liked her and was being washed out a little each day with Kate...and I hoped it would go on. Why should I pray that one day I'll be with Audree when I'm holding myself back? I was planning on seeing Kate when I got back, but Audree was my top priority, no matter what...

Then I thought....

Audree still didn't know my mom had died a few months before I met her. She probably realized that my parents weren't present in my life, but probably not why it was like that.

My mom had died when I was 17, one day while I was with my old band. I always got sad thinking about it....I had been jotting down lyrics all over these notebooks I kept in my apartment, many of them inspired by her. I had a few songs that I had written, but didn't show Attack Attack for some reason. I had a gut feeling that this was not the band I wanted to play this music that was so personal to me for some reason. I remembered she died at our house on Sebring court, on the corner of second street, from Marfan's syndrome. I had that disease now, and Audree didn't know about it. I needed to get it fixed, or I would die young as well. I was devastated and heartbroken. I was in a daze that none of my friends could not pull me out of. My sorrow was drowning me, and I was allowing it to. My father basically disappeared after her death, I had no one who could extinguish the gut wrenching feeling that plauged me afterwards. But I put on a brave face everyday to keep everyone away and not to worry about me. Everyone didn't bother with me when I did that, but the day I first laid my eyes on Audree, I felt like I was seeing myself.

You can easily see through somone if you know the same pain they feel.

I could see that Audree was suffering, something or someone was gone from her life and she couldn't cope with it. I learned she lived with her Aunt and brother. Her mom was in a mental hospital. She had some disorder and some other type of problem after going through an abusive relationship with Audree's father. One day, when Audree was about 12, her dad tried to kill her mom and he was now in prison on a life sentence. Her mom was unable to take care of them, and it was devestating to Audree and her brother. That day I met her, I also later learned from her that her mother's condition had gotten worse as she attmepted to drown herself when she had to bathe.

Audree and I had had this bond over our parents. Our fathers were still alive, but they were gone and were only distant memories. My mother was dead, but she died as she was her entire life. Audree's mom was still breathing, but she was a shell. A ghost lived inside her body, it was more cruel than having your mother physically taken away.

Audree's Aunt Lean came to take care of her and Roman, her brother, after the whole incident since her own children were grown up. For the longest time, I drifted alone in my own sorrow. When I met Audree, I let myself get attatched, because she was different. We were there for each other, and able to understand one another on a level exclusive to ourselves. Her family kinda became my family, as we were constantly spending our free time with each other. It was ideal and made me thankful that Audree and her family came into my life, they secretly repaired me and supported me as I tried my best to make them and my mother proud.

In 2 hours, I would be reunited with them. I would have my family, Kate, who I was actually in to, and Noah, Audree's eccentric other best friend/somewhat adoptive brother who idolized me. Most importantly, I would be with Audree, my sade harbor in the midst of my storm.

I smiled, realizing anything is worth getting through as long as I had Audree by my side.