Body-Swap | kellic

The Divine Zero

Desperate times and desperate measures

I come so close, my hopes are severed by the downside

{Vic}

I ran out of the studio in tears because I felt betrayed. What Kellin told me without actually telling me when he recorded that song in one take, was that he didn't actually need me.

He knew perfectly well that he could have written a song with no help at all. He was using me. Using valuable time where I could have been producing and working on my own album. God knows my fans have been waiting for who knows how long for the record. Hell, even I was ready for it to come out.

Finally gathering my senses, as I sat on the carpet outside the studio door, I realized that no one had come (or was coming) to see if I was okay.

I shrugged and let it go. Kellin had always been a jerk.

But he had always been my jerk, I thought.

I shook those thoughts out of my head and headed down the endless stairs from their studio. I needed to get out of cold Michigan and back to Cali. I missed the weather and the aura and my parents and my studio. San Diego was everything to me.

When nostalgia kicks in, it usually puts me in a serious funk. All I really needed was to get all this baggage off my back and a quick call home to Mama. But no, I decided to overreact some more.

When I realized that 97% of my bald spot causing problems could be solved by simply removing myself from the toxic environment I was (practically) forced into, I groaned. But the only thing was that I couldn't leave, I couldn't catch the first flight back to San Diego with the rest of the guys and avoid Kellin for the rest of my life. Because he had my body, which I realized in light of recent events, is actually a nice thing to have. I cursed Kellin for making a deal with a demon or a witch or a vampire or whatever he was messing with this time. Why couldn't he stay out of trouble?

I felt like I was on empty. I wasn't doing a lot of the things that made me happy. As of the past couple of days, Copeland and Kellin had been making me happy and now I'm sure that this short chapter of my life is over. I felt like nothing. I felt disposable. I felt like I wasn't worth anything to anyone. I felt like a zero.

I found myself at the house Mikey, Tony, Jaime and I were renting for the duration of the stay in Michigan. Not remembering a lick of how I ended up here, I decided to go inside anyway, taking a note of the lack of cars in the driveway.

Good, no one is home, I thought.

The corners of my mouth turned up a little when I saw that the spare key was still under the doormat. My friends never fail to be predictable.

As I walked through the foyer, I was anticipating some personal Hulu and hang time or maybe a bath to de-stress myself. I was not expecting to have the image of Tony jacking off on the couch burned into my retinas. Of course I've seen him naked before (it's a small tour bus) but this was a whole another level. He's practically my brother but I wasn't even sure if he knew what masturbating was. Despite the tattoos, Tony is a very innocent man.

Tony yelped, hopping from off the couch, "I was not expecting you Kellin...or anyone for that matter."

"I can tell." I deadpanned. There was a tense silence as we both thought of something appropriate to say.

"What are you doing here?"

"I could almost say the same thing. Where's the rest of the band?"

I pressed the tips of my fingers to my temples as Tony began to explain himself, " Whoa first put some clothes on Turtle Boy, then we'll talk."

Tony looked down at himself and gasped like he forgot that he was masturbating two seconds ago.

"I'll be right back, " he called, running upstairs.

He came back down stairs in a shirt and joggers thankfully. I crashed on the futon, avoiding the couch entirely.

"So..." Tony started. "Why are you here and not Vic?"

I sighed, knowing that I came here to relive myself of some of this baggage, and if it meant worrying Tony (an incessant worrier), it meant worrying Tony.

"That's the thing Tony," I started, "I am Vic."

I could almost see the myriad of question marks surrounding his head, "No...you're Kellin."

"Haven't you noticed, that Vic and I have been acting weird lately? Weirder than normal."

He thought for a second, "Okay, let's just say you're not Kellin and you are Vic. Prove it."

"Remember when I miraculously played guitar at the show the other day, and Vic strangely forgot how to?"

Tony's mouth made a giant 'O'. The strange moments from the last weeks or so started to line up in his mind.

"I'll fully believe you if you tell me one thing that Vic– and only Vic would know."

"Too easy Tony," I said confidently, a sick grin sliding onto my face, "You know perfectly well that I'm an open book. So something only I would know, would be a huge ass secret."

Tony laughed and there was a glint of something I couldn't place in his eye, "I'm not believing you until you confess."

I gnawed on Kellin's tiny pink lips, "Remember about two or three weeks ago when Kellin and I had that huge falling out and I refused to tell you guys what happened?"

The guitarist nodded eagerly. "All I said was a cryptic: Kellin is a douche bag. But the real story was that we had out collab completed and tracked and everything, but Kellin was never satisfied with the end product, so he deleted the entire thing. So as revenge..." I drifted off feeling guilty again, "I deleted their entire album."

"No way Vic!" Tony shouted.

"He had it coming!" I retorted. "But I did save the tracks on a flash drive before I deleted it. I'm not a total asshole. I just wanted them to panic for a while."

"Well... I should confess something too, I knew that Kellin was you and you were Kellin from day one. I never said anything because I knew you would come to me eventually. I only made you prove it because I wanted to get some dark secrets out of you."

"But how did you know?" I said incredulously.

He patted my head and pouted, "I have to have some secrets of my own, don't I Viccy?"

Leaving me gaping like a fish in the living room, he trotted upstairs to probably start jacking off again.

"You'll catch flies with your mouth open like that," I heard him call down, "Don't just sit there, weren't you going to Hulu and hang with yourself or something?"

And that was the moment where I came to the realization that Tony Perry was quiet for a reason.

 the next part will be kellin's pov, and this chapter marks the 3/4 point in Body Swap :)

xoxo lola don't forget to comment and vote