I ride in the backseat, head against the window and listen to Cat and Mariana laugh and joke in the front. We're headed to a party, and I don't even remember agreeing to go, but here I am. From what I know, the party is being held at one of the kids from FSU that Cat and Mariana share mutual friends with. I step out of the car and realize that we're basically in Killearn Lakes, and I can tell by the familiar nicer looking homes; Kevin lived over here and I'd been to his house a couple of times with the Math Comp. team back in ninth and tenth grade when I was still a member.
As soon as Mariana sees someone she recognizes, I am abandoned, but not before Cat drops me off in the living room and leaves as well. It's fine with me, and I'm content to watch a group of guys battle via Mario Kart, trash talking the entire time. My fingers itch to join their game, and I almost open my mouth to ask when in the corner of my eye I see two brown braids, and the face of Amanda clutching a beer in her hands. I carefully keep my gaze away from her, and it works because she doesn't stay for long in the walkway, before heading outside where the pool is. The last thing I want is an encounter with her, too many messy feelings to sort through without warning. That makes me think of my phone, and I pull it out to read what I already know is there. I need to talk to Justin, I'm sure of it. But what do I even say? I groan, and thankfully no one hears me. They make intimacy seem so great in the movies, heck thank you Shronda Rimes for permanently messing up my emotions on the TV side of things (but I still love you). And I've basically messed up with Justin. I hadn't set any boundaries. I was so sure I was in control, and Justin hadn't taken advantage of me in anyway. Wait, was he a virgin? I wonder about this until it dawns on me how unimportant the matter really is, and I realize I did a good job of making a fool out of myself.
Two of the guys leave their game controllers, then the whole group follows suit, leaving the game unattended. I slide onto the floor so I'm closer to the screen, and start to play. It's more than obvious how rusty I am, so the next few minutes involve doing race circuits over and over again. For the moment I can forgot my problems, and let my attention be completely focused on Princess Peach and this mushroom circuit. I gain an audience, and I'm only slightly aware that people are watching me. Soon a guy with a blonde beard challenges me, and I accept, beating him no problem. Two more dudes want in on the game, and I beat all three of them like it's nothing. Their looks of disbelief are enough to pull me into a good mood, but it momentarily sours when I go to get something to drink. There are sodas and beers in a cooler, and I reach for the Sprite I see and decide against a cup. One of the boys I played against finds me sipping my soda, outside where the pool and noise are centered. "You're really good. Either that, or you're a good cheater." I smile and nod, but don't know what to say. I prefer to say nothing, but he pushes on, and I can't help but notice how close he's gotten. "How good are you at pool?"
I shrug, and try to act as if I'm interested in something behind him, when in reality I'm just trying to find Cat or Martina. "I'm not an expert, and my fingers tend to get jammed someway somehow," I fumble on, praying he'll go away. The guy is average looking, with dirty blonde hair and a wide smile, and I find myself wishing he had freckles. Wait. "I can teach you, make you a better player," he says slyly, and I feel a strong spike of anger rush through me. "Yeah, I think I'm good. My boyfriend can teach me," I say hotly, and push past him. I go back inside and sit on the couch, feeling my insides expand and compress, as if I just ran for my life. I run over what I just said and it's like a light bulb goes off in my head. I'm such a dummy. I pick up the phone and dial the number on my recently missed calls list and wait. He picks up on the second ring.
"Justin?" I ask, before he can even say hello.
"Lyric he-hey! You called!"
"Will you come get me?" Whatever doubts in my mind seem silly when Justin hangs up and says he's on his way. I can hear the relief in his voice, and I can't help but feel guilty for causing us both mental traumas. I know I'm going to have to talk about what went down between us eventually, but for now, all I can do is move on and push myself to follow suit. I used the word boyfriend. It wasn't forced, and it didn't feel weird. It felt natural. I liked it. I see Justin's silver Corolla pull up, and grin. He gets out, looking around until his gaze settled on me. Waves of resentment, embarrassment, excitement, and unsureness swiftly hit me, but I make myself steady and walk.When I sit in the car and he drives off, Justin looks as if he wants to say so much, but I see him hold it all back. He doesn't even reach for my hand like he usually does, and I physically ache for it. As if he's afraid. Why is he afraid? I know why I am. "Lyric, I know I love you now, but....it freaks me out when you..." he hesitates, and I bite my lip and shake my head. I should feel flattered. I should be unconvinced and then scoff or laugh. I should seriously feel anything but a rising sense of dread. Lord, did this this boy just say he loves me?
YOU ARE READING
Hello August, Please Be Good To Me
Novela JuvenilI look out into the parking lot and squint to make sure I'm not going crazy. Walking up with a bouquet of flowers is Justin. He's wearing a muscle tee, and my eyes settle on the part of his tattoo that's not covered up by the plastic holding the flo...
