I cradled my tiny baby girl in my arms, it was almost as if her body was cold to touch, even though she was bound with fever.
Shay took the kids outside in the hall while I had my time alone with Quinn.
"My sweet baby girl." I cried, a tear landing on her tiny arm. "We did everything we could. And we know you fought as hard as you could. But, baby, I don't like seeing you this way. I don't like seeing you hooked up to machines with needles in your arms. I want to see you in the safest place you'll ever know. You'll be with Heavenly Father. Mommy loves you so much. You are my special little warrior. I love you sweet heart. I love you." I pressed my hand to my face and soaked up the tears. I kissed her forehead for minutes, and slowly handed her off to Shay.
"Hi princess." Shay smiled at her. She didn't smile back. She never even opened her eyes. He muttered his own words to her, most of which I could not make out. And after nearly thirty minutes, he finally kissed her goodbye.
Gavin said his goodbye next.
"Hi Quinn." He tearfully smiled. "I know you can't hear me. Or maybe you can. I don't know. But if you can, know that I love you. And I always will love you. But you aren't going to leave all the love. You'll be loved so much in heaven. I know it, Quinn. I'm so glad I get to be the one who can say I spent a year with the bravest little warrior out there." He began to cry harder, kissing her quickly and rushing out of the room, finding it too hard to even see her.
Shay brought in Brock and Daxton, who were rubbing their tired eyes.
"Bye bye Quinn." Daxton rubbed her head. "I love you and I don't want you to go. You are my sister and I love you." He held onto her tiny little hand.
"And I love you too. I want you to take this with you when you go with Jesus." Brock placed a small stuffed Olaf the snowman next to Quinn's side. "I know you wanted to play with him a lot. And I'm sorry I didn't let you. So you and Jesus can play with Olaf together. And when I see Jesus, I'll play too." He kissed her head and went to Shay's side, burying his tear stained face in his side.
"Bye Quinnie." Daxton blew a kiss and touched her heart. "Here's a kiss to heal your heart." He smiled.
"Can I say my goodbye?" Avia quietly asked.
She slowly walked over to the small crib, painted white with paint peeling off the sides.
"I wasn't happy when I found out you were being born. I didn't want another sibling." My thirteen year old smiled. "But when I saw you for the first time I knew I would love you more than anything. And Juliette, too. And now that I know I won't get to rock you to bed anymore, or get to see you crawl around, I wish I had said I love you more. I love you so much." Avia spent the next ten minutes cradling Quinn in utter silence, her lips pressed against Quinn's forehead. "I love you." Avia quietly cried as Emmi carefully held Quinn.
"I don't want you to go." Emmi cried. "But I know that you're going to the best place in the universe. But I know that..." She choked up. "I know that it means I don't get to see you anymore. And I don't want that. I want to see your adorable little face everyday. I don't want you to be alone. But I know you'll be with Jesus." She smiled. "We're the strong girls, Quinn. You and I both won our battles. I got to return home to find out you and JuJu were gonna be born. And you finally get to go home, too. You get to go home to the coziest, the safest, the friendliest and most loving home ever. And I'll see you there some day. Ok? I'll miss you so much. I love you." Emmi kissed her goodbye and smiled as tears streamed down her face. "You are a warrior, Quinn." She cried.
Shay woke up Juliette and brought her over to her twin sister. Juliette, despite being only 16 months old, knew exactly what was happening. She leaned forward in Shay's arm and kissed her sister. "Bye Kin." She said. Shay buried his face in his elbow to stop the tears. Juliette kissed Quinn again, and rubbed her fists against her tired eyes.
The next night, at 9:34 PM, Quinn went home with Heavenly Father, and Olaf.
I screamed. I swore. I blamed God. I hated whatever caused my daughter to leave this earth after a year of life.
"Colette." Shay pressed my head against his shoulder as I screamed, as I cried. "Do you remember the promise I made when Quinn first got sick? I said I promised that I would absolutely everything to keep her safe-"
"And look! Look what this is! She's gone!" I screamed. "She wasn't kept safe, because if she was, she would still be here!" I cried.
"Colette." Shay's voice soothed. "Colette, she's as safe as she'll ever be."
I stopped cursing. I stopped screaming. I stopped blaming God.
Because Shay was right.
She is finally safe.
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So guys, that's it. Book three of the the "Goodbye Emmi" series is complete. I hope you all enjoyed being a part of this whole series as much as I enjoyed putting the words on the screen. Make sure to read my other books, and thanks for reading Seven! I love you all!
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Seven | Part Three of Goodbye, Emmi
FanfictionAfter Emmi disappears, we thought life would be unbearable. After Emmi was found, we thought life would be perfect. That's never the case.