A Story To Tell | Book 1

.25.

"I'm pregnant..."

I watched as Jeremy nearly choked on his glass of water as he looked up at me. I'd been contemplating all night and I'd finally come to the conclusion that I was just going to throw everything at him. I wanted to see his reaction and see if he'd still find me attractive at the end of the night.

Honestly, I really wanted Jeremy to despise me at the end of the night so that he'd never call me again. I didn't want him to want to have anything else to do with me. I wanted him to think to himself that I'm one of the most craziest dates he'd ever had and he didn't want to experience it ever again. It was stupid of me when all I could've done was cancel on him, but there was no way Antoinette was even going to allow me to miss out on this one. She stayed at the house to make sure I'd left with him and everything. I swear she was so demanding at times.

"...and I'm sort of not single, but then I am. It's confusing. I don't really want to be a mother, but I'm basically suffering the consequences of fooling around with a married man. I honestly ca-" Jeremy held his hand up, interrupting me.

He started to laugh as he shook his head.

"What's this all about?" He asked, smiling, showing his handsome pearly whites.

I sighed and looked down, embarrassed and my guilt was starting show. Jeremy tilted his head to the side as if he were trying to get a better look at me before reaching across the table to take my hand. I allowed him to do so. My mind was traveling all around the world, honestly, and I needed to get away. I really didn't want Jeremy to hate me. I just wanted him to know the real me. The real me is confusing, crazy, dumb, full of love, and disappointing.

"Care to explain?" He asked me in his gentle tone.

"It's just that...I've been getting myself into some deep shit lately. I haven't been completely honest with a lot of important people in my life and I really don't want a repeat of what I've just gone through. I want everything to be out in the open so that I don't go through the same stuff." I explain as best I could. Hell, my business was already out.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, looking concerned.

"No..." I say, feeling down.

Although I wanted Jeremy to be uninterested in me, just doing all of this to him made me realize just how crazy I was when all I could've did was go against Antoinette and cancel on him to keep from having to go through this. This was embarrassing, unwanted, and cold.

"Well, I mean...I feel like I know a lot about you, thanks to the outbursts you've been having throughout this date." He chuckled, squeezing my hand to make sure he had my attention. "And it's come to my attention that you're stuck between a man and the love of your life." I looked out of space for a bit and sighed. "And I'm here to tell you, of all the things you've got going on, I won't fix up my mouth to judge you. You're a beautiful woman with a big heart, and most women like you go through bad shit to get to the good part. I understand. I just watched my daughter's mother go through the same thing. I'm here if you wanna talk." He assured me, making me feel even more guiltier for my outbursts.

"Jeremy, I'm sorry." I say.

"Oh, no. Don't be. Actually, those outbursts just gained you a friend." He chuckled. "I'm here when you want to talk. We can be friends. I have no problem with that. If I'm able to help you in your time of need, I'm more than welcomed." I smiled, feeling a bit of relief come over me.

"I'm sorry, Jeremy, honestly. You wanted to take me out to possibly make a love connection and I screwed it all up for you and for that, I am so sorry." I say, looking at my hand still in his. "I feel like I wasted your time."