The One's Left Behind

Reflection

"Alright, Mom, we're going to head out," my daughter, Waverly, told me as she rounded up her kids. "Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine," I told her with a roll of my eyes. "I'm seventy-seven, not eighty-seven, I can still take care of myself."

"I just wanted to make sure, y'know, with Dad gone."

I sighed. Sean had passed a few years prior. Everyday was better than the last, but they all still sucked. Waverly was always inquiring about how I was doing, and I couldn't tell her that this big, empty house Sean had built was suffocating me. It was filled with memories of him, and it was beyond painful. Even though it has been years, nothing was able to dull the pain.

This loss was different from when I lost Waverly. Each was just as painful, but as I lost Waverly as a sister, I lost Sean as a soulmate. I felt as though I was unable to bounce back from this loss. Sean had been with me longer, but Waverly had made an everlasting impression. She had been there during my most awkward times, it was hard to let go.

With Sean, though, he had seen me at my absolute worst -my pregnancy with my second child, Luke. You can't find someone like that everyday. He was good to me in so many ways. Losing him was something I didn't think I could bounce back from. And I didn't, not fully.

But I found myself mulling over the same question I had when I lost Waverly, although I didn't voice it. Why did it feel like I had been left behind? I thought that I'd only be left behind by Waverly, but here I was, alone, without Sean. I was growing older as he was prospering in the next life. And, God, did I miss him.

How could they both just leave me?