Lady Celestial Stars wonderful story

Part 166

: AwakeningNotes:

This chapter starts immediately after the last word of the chapter was read:

Chapter Text

Harry held a hand over his mouth and leaned forward in his chair, closing his eyes. How did this happen? How could he let this happen? He went there to save him, turned out to be a trap and Sirius died anyways. What was he going to do? What's going to happen now?

His head began to pound and his chest began to ache.

What had he done? He had led his friends to what could still be their deaths, not just them, but the members of the Order....Just because he couldn't be bothered to close his mind, especially the way that worked for him!

Had he simply just become complacent where it concerned the Dark Lord? Sure he worried about what would be the end result between the two of them, but really, since the beginning of the school year, did he give him more than just a passing thought as he dealt with Umbridge and the unjust way he was portrayed by the Ministry?

Did he just think himself far superior to any other wizard around? He already wholeheartedly believe that he was one of the smartest student in the school, after having taken that assessment...from the look on the teacher's faces, he was at least in the top ten, (some of those Ravenclaws could be horrifyingly smart, and they share their knowledge very infrequently with the students outside their house) Going right into an obvious trap, was he really all that smart?

How did he become like this? What drove him to being this way?

It was till just that moment that Harry realized that he wasn't breathing, his head felt swimmy and his arms and legs grew heavy. He was dying, this wasn't the same almost peaceful revelation as in his second year, but this had to be him dying, there was no other explanation...and he was doing it right in front of everyone...the students, the faculty, members of the Ministry, the Rangers and his family...

"Well, that's not all that terrible," said a horrifyingly calm voice in his head. "If I'm not around, no one will get hurt."

What was that? Where did that come from? But wait, was that voice right? No one would be hurt anymore...it always seemed to be his fault that all this was happening. Mrs. Weasley wouldn't have to worry about her children anymore if he wasn't in the picture, and Hermione would totally be dedicated to her studies and not getting into trouble.

"Just let go...that's all you have to do, let go." said the calm voice. "Let go and it will all be over, and everyone will be safe..."

"This hasn't happened yet!" came a harsh, loud voice in his head. "This won't happen! You know what is there and the Rangers certainly won't let anyone in front of them die like that!"

But...Ron...Hermione...

"The feud between Lucius Malfoy and Mr. Weasley was going on way before you came on the scene, and if you hadn't been friends with Ron then it's likely that his sister would never have been..."

"Thrown down in the Chamber of Secrets and nearly had been killed." said calm voice smoothly.

"...Found, she wouldn't have been found, and Peter would still be Ron's pet, lying in wait to kill the entire family if Voldemort came back on his own." said the harsh voice sternly. "As for Hermione, she would have just been stuck in her books and wouldn't have the friends she does if you and Ron hadn't welcomed her into your group...granted...after a lot of trials and suffering..."

But...he expected to hear the the calm voice come up again and argue it's side, but nothing came...

"No buts! Wake the hell up! You don't want this happening? Then quit holding back and get ready to end this once and for all!" shouted the voice.