The Insomniac Couple

Brutal Love

Cinders P.O.V

I slept over at Billie's again. We had pizza for dinner last night, then watched some movies. He played some more on his guitar and sang for me. He is a little shit sometimes, but he can also be one of the sweetest.

Billie was awake before me this time. Surprising. If you left him alone, he could sleep til 2. I walked downstairs, not there. I look to see if his car is home. Nope. Where the fuck did he go.

I text him, 'Um, where the fuck did you go?', I get a text almost instantly back, 'I was hungry and didn't want cereal so I got some food. be back in 5.' Those 5 minutes were fucking long. I mean I was hungry, so that wasn't helping. I cleaned up a little. I put some dishes in the sink to deal with later. Then I just sat on the couch.

Billie came through the front door basically right when I sat down. "HONEY I'M HOME!" he yells cheerfully. "Thank god for that, I thought I was gonna have to catch my own god damn food." I chuckle. Billie set down a McDonald's bag and gave me a breakfast sandwich. He grabbed his and we both started eating. 

I finished my sandwich, and I stretched. Billie then just started laughing. "What?" I ask, wondering why he's laughing. "And I thought I was a messy eater." He chuckles. He leans over and kisses my lips, then starts licking my mouth. "What the fuck are you doing!?" I yelp, pushing at him and laughing. "I was cleaning your face" He smiles his stupid smile. I chuckle, "You could give me some warning before you do that." "Then it wouldn't be as funny." He smirks.

After that little joke, he picked up his acoustic and started playing random songs and notes. It was choppy at points, but that's when he's trying to figure out what he wants to come next. It's like a serenade for me. I lay in his lap, continuing his playing. He could play for hours, and I could never get tired of it. 

All of a sudden he just stops playing. "How do you do that?" I turn and look at him, confused, "What? How do I do what?" "How are you doing something so simple, but be so beautiful at the same time? It's extraordinary." My face turns red from blushing, "I don't know. That doesn't make any sense, I'd have to be beautiful to do that."

He sets down his guitar, "Why would you say shit like that?" "Cause It's true. No ones ever cared to even talk to me that much, let alone think about me like that." I shyly say. "No it's not. How could you say that? Plenty of people care about you. Maybe not everyone, hell not even everyone likes me. But you don't need everyone to like you." I says sternly.

I sit up, a little flustered, "Nobody cares what I do. Everyone just cares that when their life falls apart, I'm there to pick up the pieces for them. That's all I'm good for for some people. Yeah I have my very small group of friends, and yeah they are nice to have around, but sometimes I just feel like they aren't listening to me. Asher was the only one who cared about what happened in my life. So I'm sorry that I think it's hard to believe that the bad boy everyone wants says I'm beautiful!" I shout, "That's why I can say no one cares!"

Billie looked stunned. I could see he looked a little hurt, and his eyes glistened from the tears that were forming. I got up and started pacing around the room, rubbing his face. He then just stops and stands in front of the tv and just stares down.

"I'm sorry Billie. I didn't mean to freak you out. I just have been holding that in for a long time. I have to keep up my 'perfect life'," (I use air quotes while speaking to him), "so nobody gets weird about me. I get fucked up when I just need to break down. That's why I keep it in, cause no one is ever there for me. I'm the root of my problem. If I would just open up to people and trust them, maybe I wouldn't think this way. I love you Billie. I didn't mean to make you angry."

Billie was still standing in front of the tv. He ran his fingers through his hair, then sighed. "You can think whatever you want of yourself. I don't give a shit what you think of yourself."

Those words hurt. Tears started to cascade down my face, and I couldn't make them stop. I looked down, trying to hid them, but my sniffles gave away what I was trying to hid.

"You don't have to give a shit, but y'know what? I fucking do. I want to be the one who's there for you. I want to be there when you can't handle life anymore, and you need to breakdown. I'll be the one there to catch you when you fall. I'll pick up your pieces when your life falls apart. I want to be that person for you. So please...let me do that for you." He finally says. 

While saying that, he walked over to me and got on his knees. I saw his tears falling down his face. I looked into his eyes that have gotten red, and I wiped his tears away with my thumb, and put my hand on his face.

"I trust you. I love you Billie." I smile at him. "I love you too Cinder." He smiles back, wiping my tears away. He gives me a hug, then pulls away, staring into my eyes. That's when we kiss. It's like one of those passionate kisses you see in the movies. Like kissing in the rain, but a million times better. I don't think I've ever loved something or someone so much like I do with Billie. 

He then pulls away, and sits back down next to me. He put his arm around me, and pulled me in close.

"I'm sorry, I fucked up. I don't know why it's so hard for me to trust people. I'm a disaster waiting to happen. I'm trying to fix that. And knowing that I'll actually have someone there for me helps." He sits there a moment in silence, then finally sighs and says, "I'll forever be there for you." 

After we relax and recover from our confrontation, we both start to doze off. Tomorrow's Sunday. Hopefully it'll be better than today.