Falling Slowly [Barry Allen]

Chapter 38

"Caitlin! There's a tsunami headed straight for the city. How do I stop it?"

My breath hitches, and it's the first time that I've found myself wondering how Barry is going to keep himself safe. And then it hits me: He's not concerned for his own safety.

"Theoretically, if you can create a-" she waves her hands frantically, trying to come up with the words to explain her thought process, "...a vortex barrier along the coastline, a wall of wind, that would be able to sap the tidal wave of its energy before it hits the city."

"By running back and forth." Barry's voice sounds resigned, almost defeated as it resonates through the speaker in the lab. The sound is almost enough to send me over the edge into complete insanity.

"Barry..." I whisper. Time begins to slow as my brain goes into overdrive. "Barry, if it's too dangerous, you can just come back. Save the ones that you can, including yourself, and start over somewhere. I know you love your job and your life here, but is it really worth risking everything for?"

There is only a moment of unbearable silence before he speaks to me again. "Katie, I have to do this. And this is obviously the absolute worst time to have this conversation, and it's a jerk move that I can't be there right now and I know that, but I need you to know that if something goes wrong and I don't come back that I love you and I can't imagine where I would be if I hadn't met you. And I know it's sudden and I wish I could see your face, but I just had to say tha-"

"Barry!" Silence on his end. "Since you can't see me, I should probably tell you that I have the most absurd smile on my face, especially considering the timing. I love you too, now go save the damn city before I have to swim to work tomorrow!"

The chuckle on the other end is almost inaudible. But as Barry is heading toward the coastline, I remember something. Iris had an interview with a subject for her article, and she was meeting him at a coffee shop on the boardwalk. Oh my God.

"Barry, Iris is-"

"Iris!" Barry's voice chimes through the headset. Damn! Could things get any worse?

"Wait, how do you know-?" I can hear Iris's confusion, as well as her gasp through the static of the microphone as Barry pulls down his mask.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way, but I've gotta run. I wanted to tell you, Iris."

Although I can't see what's happening, I know Barry has returned his mask to its rightful place over his eyes and is running along the beach.

I wait in horrible, awful, painful silence, with only the sound of Barry's steady breathing. As he runs faster and faster, I can hear the whistle of the wind through the speaker, as if the vortex had found its way into the lab. Paired with Barry's harder breathing, the sound is deafening.

Without thinking, I take the microphone off the desk beside Cisco. "Barry," I whisper. "Make sure you come back to me, okay? No matter what happens, you have to come back."

Between heavy breaths, I hear him say, softly, "I fully intend to."

And then the mic goes out.

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"Maybe he just shut the mic off," Cisco said, glancing at my face and the obvious sickness that I know he sees there. My stomach is rolling. I can't handle this.

I quickly motion with my hands something probably incomprehensible to Caitlin before I dash from my chair into the nearby restroom of STAR Labs, emptying my stomach of its contents. My head is spinning and I have to close my eyes and sit on the floor, resting my head on my kneecaps as I try to right myself with the situation.

What would Joe do? Or my grandparents? What would they tell me? Prepare for the worst; hope for the best. That's what they would tell me. But the worst case scenario is Barry...

I force down the bile that threatens to rise once more, taking a deep breath. Neither my mind nor my body is able to handle the worst-case scenario.

So I'll focus on the best-case. Barry will come back alive. He will have saved the city once again from a dangerous Metahuman. He'll come back into the lab and lift me off my feet and tell me how much he loves me. He loves me.

Nice one, Allen. Way to drop that bomb on me right before you go on the most dangerous rescue mission since, like, ever.

But I can't help but remember my response. I didn't think about my answer; I just responded. But I don't have the mental capacity to think about all of that drama right now. I need to keep my mind focused on the positive. Maybe I should talk to Cisco, he's good at making light of situations that really shouldn't be lightened.

I walk back out of the restroom and sit between Cisco and Caitlin. Cisco offers me a piece of gum, and I gratefully accept it, considering I just puked my guts out less than three minutes ago.

"How does it look, guys?" I'm almost afraid to hear the answer.

They glance at each other before Cisco says, "Not promising."

"But we're remaining cautiously optimistic," Caitlin quickly adds.

I nod, but my mind isn't in the lab. It's on the coast with Barry, wondering what could possibly be happening that he isn't back yet.

He's planning on coming back. He has to. He told me he was going to. This logic is the only thing keeping me sane, so it's what I'm sticking with.

The silence stretches for minutes and minutes and endless minutes. Everyone in the lab is helpless, waiting for some kind of sign that will tell us that everything is going to be fine, that our lives are normal again. My mental state is hanging by a thread, and that thread is the only thing tying me to reality; the hope that Barry is going to somehow come out of this unscathed.

More minutes are passing. How much time has passed? I refuse to look at a clock. Reality doesn't exist anymore, it's only us, and this lab, and the sound of our breathing.

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A/N: Woah, hey guys! I TOLD you I would write you a new one after my exam! For those of you who are actually wondering, I feel like the exam went pretty well. But enough about me! What did you think of the new chapter?! ALSO SEASON 2 PREMIERES IN SEVENTEEN DAYS! Who's excited?! I'm BACK, baby! Comment and let me know what your reactions are! I think this is one of my best cliffhangers yet. :) More to come soon!!