Tak'n Awey

▽. 19

In the car, I sit and imagine all the possible things that they could be discussing in that living room. The only thing continuously crossing my mind is the fact that Justin could be talking to someone else.

Every time I try to push the assumption elsewhere, it effortlessly eases its way back into my mind and persuades me that it's true. If I hear one little wrong thing, I automatically presume something is up. Whether he's being devious and sly or comical and witty.

How insecure of me.

Maybe I keep thinking he's going, or already is, cheating because he's such a beautiful person inside and out. He could be with whoever he desires in the world, but somehow in the midst of it all, he's with me.

I feel like if I do one wrong thing, it will cause everything to go downhill. What do I say? What do I do? I've never felt this way before--I've never been this happy. I'm not ready to give it up already.

I just can't get my mind together.

It's darker than night can get when Justin exits the house with Shakeer following behind. The bright street and porch lights make up for the sun's absent light. Nonetheless, the moon is still doing a good job.

I was looking a little worried and fearful earlier for a reason I'm unable to recollect, but the funny thing is, Justin and Shakeer's faces resemble the way mine did: fearful. Can a girl make you worried like that? Or is it something greater? I really need to know what's going on.

Shakeer is waiting abut to Justin's window with his arms crossed, resting onto the pane. Justin straps himself in without giving me so much as a glance. Once the engine is revved, I analyze both of their faces to be sure if they are truly fearful of something. No other word fits better for their description. They are, in fact, afraid of something.

Justin and Shakeer speak low with an intention of me not hearing, but unfortunately, I've got some good ears. However, I pretend I'm attentive to the blinking street light down the street.

"You'll get through this, man," Shakeer begins solemnly, "She's the best you'll ever find. I can guarantee you that. But if she doesn't intend on being here for you, you've gotta move on--find someone better."

Justin nods and I take in the words. "Aight, man. I'll see you later."

"Aight, in the meantime, just live it up, bro."

"I will."

Shakeer tosses up the peace sign, "Nice meeting you, Mahrie." And with that said, he disappears into his tacky home. As we depart from the yard, I can't get over those words and how silent Justin is. It's pestering me because only I'm silent. I can't break the silence in here just because he's silent. That'll cause me to be a hypocrite on my silence depiction.

"Justin...?" I render crammed with befuddlement.

Justin glances at me so slow that it seemed hypnotizing. Also, he is trying strenuously not to allow his emotion show. His eyes are low like he's doped up on a strong narcotic.

"What is wrong? What's going on, Justin?"

"Nothing," he defends himself, "I don't want you to worry yourself to death."

"I already am. It's complicated putting two and two together when I only have one."

Justin sighs vaguely, mopping his face compacted with frustration and annoyance. "Well, I'm not so sure of things right now, so I have ones, too."

Not sure of things? What is he implementing? Does he mean us? Or is he speaking in general? I suspire heavily and dramatically in moral depression as I face the window, "How could it be so hard to tell the person you say you admire so much what's wrong with you? You should be willing to tell me anything."