Tak'n Awey

▽. 28

Everyone wants to give me evil stares, but they can't figure out why.

I'm sitting in my hospital bed, quietly reliving what just occurred moments ago. Could today possibly get any worse?

My mom unfolds her arms and stands beside my dad, unsure of how to feel and what to say. I don't blame her. Honestly, talking should be the last thing on everyone's list. I can't bare anymore blame, guilt, and shame.

My mother takes a long look at Justin. If it were up to me to decide, I'd say she was loathing him from a distance. Her eyes appeared to be just so damn vile.

"So," she finally speaks, "you're the father, huh?"

Justin smirks at my mother and father confidently, "Yeah. I am."

She searches for words to say, but her uncomfortability is so clear and pestering. She doesn't want to be bothered with the guy she has never met, and, that has gotten her teenage daughter pregnant.

Justin glances at me, "And I have a deadly heart disease. I won't live long at all."

Instantly I break down as those words escape those perfect lips of his. "How long do you have, Justin?"

"I'm not sure you're ready to hear that answer, yet, Mahrie."

Tears glide down my cheeks as I struggle to keep my composure, "I've waited this long to know what you were hiding and now you want to have another secret."

"It's not a secret, Mahrie, because it's devastating. It's traumatizing. This is why I have become so... livid with life itself. I won't traumatize you anymore than I have already."

My mom and dad stare at us both while I glare at the wall beside me. I can't look at him. I won't. How selfish can he be? "Justin, I'm having your baby and I need to know if you'll be there to see it."

Justin roams to the end of my bed and strokes my leg until he reaches my cheek, "No, Mahrie, I won't."

My breath is lost, though I try to toughen up. I attempt to be strong and let this just be another situation that I can't change. I struggle to let this be something I must deal with, because in fact, I have no choice but to.

I'm going to be a single mother. And the love of my life is no longer going to be living to witness the birth of my baby--our baby.

Justin remains massaging my cheek, but I gently move his hand away. He gawks into my eyes that are crammed with tears that I refuse to release. I just won't cry. I refrain to let the tears reveal my weaknesses. I am higher than myself and everyone here--even though I may be the most loathed. 

"Mahrie," Justin mumbles blandly as his eyes soften even more than before. I haven't seen that look since the night we were at the dinner date weeks ago. It's the same look he gave his friend Shakeer. It's the look he attempted to constrain from showing me, but now it's all out there and he doesn't care.

I finally look him in the eye, continuing to hold those tears inside, but I fail. The tears begin to trail down my cheek and I speak to him in a sob, "I loved you, Justin."

This causes him to sit onto the bed and mop away my tears with so much fierce affection, "You still love me. I'm still here, Mahrie. I haven't left you, yet."

"But you will."

He makes a facial expression that appears to me that he's genuinely effected by my choice of words. It looks as if he's disgusted. "I love you and when I'm gone, the baby should be proof that I still love you. Everyday you see his face, you'll see mine and be reminded that I loved you more than anything and you'll never forget me."