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Chapter 8

"Lelah," Someone said shaking me gently on the shoulder.

"Mhm, what?" I said

"I need to go before the paps get here," I know recognized the voice as Liam.

"We're in the house, they can't find us," I said now pealing my eyes open, trying to adjust to the morning light.

"I mean the boys," he said chuckling softly.

"Oh, right," I said stumbling out of bed. Liam placed his hands on either side of my waist to steady me. I grabbed a towel and went to take a quick shower. When I got out, I dried and curled my hair. I threw on some leggings and Hipsta Please high-low shirt and some hot pink vans to match. I applied my mascara and headed down to meet the boys.

"Hey," I said sitting down as I greeted the four boys. Four?

"Uh, hey?" Said a voice.

I turned to find myself on Zayn's lap.

"Sorry!" I said getting up.

He just laughed and said it happens. I ate some of my breakfast, but not all of it. I returned to my room and went into my newly found music room. Not bothering to shut the door.

I sat down at the piano and began to play and sing. 

She cries in the corner where nobody sees, she's the kid with a story no one would believe. She prays every night dear god won't you please, could you send someone here who will love me....

Who will love me for me? Not for what I have done, or what I will become, who will love me for me? Cause nobody has shown me what love, what love really means....

I stopped and looked around. I headed back upstairs and into the main room.

"Hey Lilah?" Called Niall

"Yea?" I called back. I went and sat between Niall and Louis.

"Guess what?" Louis began.

"Ugh, what?" I said not very interested.

"We're going on tour!" They all shouted at the same time.

"What?" I yelled.

"Yep, all over the country," they said. They all began to say exciting things we would be doing. Harry seemed to be the only one that noticed that I wasn't excited.

"It's only for two weeks," he said coming over and rubbing my back, "it'll be over as soon as it started,"

I nodded my head not wanting to say anything. For the rest of the day we played games outside. Liam and I seemed to be cautious around eachother. Makes since, considering the boys could've seen us this morning.

Something happened outside though. Very important. Niall and I got into a conversation. I said three pretty strong words and he said them back. It's funny how three words can make such a difference....

To bad it wasn't a good one....

"I hate you!" I yelled at him. We had just gotten into an argument and he had slapped me on the cheek pretty hard. I slapped him back harder.

His eyes got real wide and red. But his voice sounded full of flames.

"I hate you too!" He yelled right back at me before stomping inside.

I ran upstairs with tears streaming down my face. I looked straight at the window sill. It let out over a mountain side and onto concrete. I bet no human could survive that. I went and sat down onto it.

Mommy was humming softly into my ear as we watched a movie. The characters were mourning the death of their friend who had committed suicide.

"Hey baby?" She asked

"Yeah Momma?" I asked back

"Do you that suicide is one of the most selfish things a person can do?" She began, I shook my head, "well, it is. While it may end, what you think is suffering for yourself. You leave the people who did love you behind to carry on your pain and to mourn the loss of yourself as well,".

"But what if no one loved the person Momma?" I asked quietly.

"Everyone is loved, some people can't except the fact that they are. We only believe and accept what we think we deserve. But no one ever can deserve a life of no love," She said gently stroking my hair, "No one,"

The remaining question I had failed to ask her was this, if you have pushed away all the love you could have, and those who did love you are gone, what is left?

I sighed and looked out at what might be the last view my eyes ever see.

A/N cliffhanger..... Sorry it's been forever!! I feel like I can only write if I have the inspirations to do so. I owe this weeks inspiration to my mom! Happy Mothers Day! Thanks for keeping my head up when I let it fall.