Summer Memory

Chapter 2 Part 2

            I never really knew how to deal with people and their tears, especially girls. It always put me in that awkward position where I don’t really know what to do. Whenever I see someone cry, I would just inconspicuously stand off in someplace, watching as that person gets comforted by other people. I was unaffected; cold and distant.

            I suppose it’s because I had grown to view tears as being overrated. They were for the dramatic people. Tears were just something I saw copiously shed during soap operas, or when there was a dead close relative or loved one. But tears over something as trivial as a relationship? Nah, I didn’t think so. It was just so corny. But that’s just one of the things about love: you really don’t get it.

            I had a good guess why the girl was crying. I expected to feel awkward seeing this girl cry in front of me, but it wasn’t the case for her. I saw how she broke down, and how she tried to pull herself together without the familiar company if friends. She wiped her own tears and held on, and even shared her food with the random person sitting next to her. She was strong in her own way, and I admired her for that.

            The girl gazed at me with her brown eyes. Her eyes betrayed her, showing a broken spirit behind a front. She looked down the street, lost in her own reverie. When I thought she would just ignore and not answer my question, she suddenly spoke.

            “Wala na kasi kami ni Mark…” (T/N: “Me and Mark aren’t together anymore…”)

            She then told her story: how she was in love with a handsome boy named Mark; how Mark swept her off her feet; how they dated for more than a year; how she discovered Mark cheating on her; how she kept it inside and led herself on, believing firmly that Mark loved her deeply as she did him; how she caught Mark doing lewd and obscene things with another girl in his house when she came for a surprise visit once; and how she herself ended what they had today, saving what little dignity she still had for herself from the boy who betrayed and broke her heart.

            All throughout the time she was speaking, she kept her eyes on the busy trafficked streets, while I listened quietly and intently. She spoke in a voice filled with emotion. At one point, I thought she was crying, but it seems she had ran out of tears to shed.

            “Alam mo, ang tanga ko. Alam ko namang mali na yung ginagawa niya at nasasaktan na ako, pero pinatagal ko pa. Minahal ko siya ng sobra-sobra, tapos nagawa pa niyang maghanap ng iba. Ugh, ang tanga-tanga ko!”

            (T/N: “You know, I’m such an idiot. I knew that what he was doing was wrong and I was hurting, but I just let it happen. I loved him so much, then he just upped and cheated on me with another girl. Ugh, I’m such an idiot!”)

            I just stared at her from the dim lighting of the corner we were sitting. I traced her face with my eyes: her trembling lips, long lashes, cute nose, and high cheekbones. I then asked her the intrusive question I had been meaning to ask.

            “...Bakit mo pa nga ba pinatagal? Ngayong nasasaktan na pala… Bigyan mo ko ng rason.” (T/N: “…Then why did you just let it go on like that? When you were already hurting… Give me a reason.”)

            She just stared at me blankly, as if I had asked her a question in another language. But she just smiled at me wistfully.

            “Kasi mahal ko siya. Ano pa bang ibang rason ang kailangan ko?” (T/N: “Becaused I love him. What other reason do I need?”)

            And in my own narrow mind that viewed love as a troublesome thing, I thought ‘What? You love him? What dumb reason is that? It was obvious to me Mark didn’t love her anymore, or at all, because if he did, he wouldn’t have cheated. ‘What’s the point of loving someone who won’t love you back?’ I thought bitterly. But then, in all those cheesy novels and movies I’ve seen, she had a point there – an unreasonable point, but a point nonetheless. It wasn’t that she needed a reason to love him; it was him who was the reason for why she loved. The girl continued her answer.