The Vampire Diaries Imagines

Imagine: Elijah I Just Want

Trigger Warning

I just want to be pretty. To be worth something. To be noticed.

That's what you woke up telling yourself and went to sleep telling yourself.

You wanted to be worthy of the love your boyfriend Elijah gave you.

You couldn't help the feeling of despair that wallowed in the pit of your stomach. That jawed at your bones as if a dog looking for marrow.

You saw everyday the other girls that passed by you that made you look fat and ugly. You saw the girls that were skinny and perfect. 

It hurt.

But you didn't do anything to yourself. You didn't harm yourself.

There were nights that kept you up that made you wonder if you should. Nights when Elijah wasn't there when you would stand in the bathroom blade in hand and wonder if it was worth it.

There were dinners when you would stare at the food in front of you and wonder if the calories were worth not being worthy.

There were times when you would stare at your naked body in the mirror and point out all the flaws...all the imperfections.

Days when you couldn't go out in public because you didn't want to see all the better looking, more perfect girls then you.

You kept this a secret. You hid it beautifully from Elijah. Making sure he couldn't see the pain.

Some days you were glad he never noticed you suffering. Others made you wonder if he actually cared since he couldn't see.

Yet you still kept trying not to harm yourself. Until one day.....

It was Saturday and you were out walking around Mystical Falls just enjoying a sunny day when you saw something that made you break.

Elijah was talking with someone with the same hair color as you. Same everything except more perfect. He was smiling and laughing and they looked so friendly.

He moved a piece of hair out of her face and she blushed and looked away. He looked so happy.

Tears slowly began to drip down your face as you watched it happen. The man of your dreams leaving you.

Letting out a loud enough 
sob for Elijah to hear you turned on your heels and left.

Elijah's POV

I was talking with a girl that p me a lot of (Y/N). It was a friendly conversation nothing sexual or anything intended and I was being polite. The girl, Laura, was (Y/N)'s doppelgänger and god she made me want (Y/N) here with me.

I moved a piece of Laura's hair and smiled at her and she smiled back at me through her lashes. My heart skipped a beat. I heard a familiar sob echo across the street.

Dropping my hand I look around and see a familiar (Y/H/C) head running through the crowd.

Shit.

I bet she thinks I don't love her anymore but I love her so fucking much.

Your POV

You push through people trying to get home before Elijah could vamp over to you. You were too slow.

"(Y/N)," he says standing in front of you.

"Please leave me alone Elijah." You say before moving away and walking even quicker towards home.

"(Y/N)-" He walks next to you pleasing evident in his voice making you snap.

"No Elijah. I can't un-see what I just saw because you want me to. Life doesn't work that way. I can't squeeze my eyes shut and force out the images. I can't pray and have them just disappear. And I can not un-see my boyfriend falling in love with someone that isn't me. So sorry for wanting you to leave me the fuck alone."

Elijah takes a step backwards hurt evident in his eyes.

You feel the tears come up but you force them in until you know he's gone and you let it all out.

You run as fast as you can to your house and slam the door closed. You run into the bathroom and take out the razor.

One for being ugly.
Two for being fat.
Three for being stupid.
Four for losing him.

Twenty for being a bitch.

They add up and up until you realize, there is no point to life without Elijah.

You grab your phone and open voice memos.

"Elijah, I love you so much and I can't stand to be in a world where you don't love me like you used to. I want to be the only girl you love and I guess I'm not anymore. I tried to find a way out of the darkness like you've wanted but all I see is dark. Don't feel guilty about this. It was my choice. Go be with her. And remember that I will always love you. Always."

With that you slit your wrists deep then your neck and close your eyes for the last time.

As a human.

A/N:

Well...... That just happened ://///.

I want to take this moment for you guys to understand I am always going to be here for any of you. I know people say that all the time but they never end up there for you....but I will actually be.

I understand what it's like to be in the darkness and I want to be y'all's light.

You all are beautiful and perfect human beings and each deserve your own Prince Charming.

With real true love,
Skye