One-hundred sleepless nights

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR i ship us

Slowly and painfully, i climbed off the bottom bunk and walked over to my cart.
As i bent over and grabbed my band aids; Charlie put his hand on my shoulder.
"Actually, before you get cleaned up, there's something else you need to do." he said. i could tell from his voice he was still a little angry.
"What?" i asked. not looking up.
"You need to go through your cart or wherever the hell you keep your cutting tool and let me watch as you get rid of it." he said.
"Okay." i replied quietly and proceeded to dig down to the bottom of my cart until i found the three little blades from a disposable razor.
"Is that all?" Charlie asked, frowning,
"Yes." i told him as i stood up slowly.
"Come on." He put an arm around my shoulder helping me walk to the bathrooms given that every step i took my jeans either peeled away from the dried blood plastering them to my skin or rubbed against my cuts making it feel like my hips were on fire.
"On the count of three i want you to flush those things and never ever think of hurting yourself again." Charlie said sternly and held open the door to a toilet stall.
I didn't say anything just nodded slowly and tossed them into the water.
"One, two, three!" Charlie counted down.
On three i reached a shaky hand over an hit the lever. The little blades went spinning out of sight.
"Are you mad at me?" i asked after a few seconds of silence and looked up at him.
"No. just disappointed. And a little sad." he said and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.
"I'm sorry." i whispered and felt my body literally shake as i tried hard not to cry.
"It's okay to cry, Angie." he said quietly after leading me out of the stall.
"I'm not going to cry. i'll be strong. i won't do anything to upset you." i said and buried my face into his shoulder.
"Nonsense. i appreciate you not wanting to upset me but being strong doesn't mean never crying." Charlie laughed and held me close.
I felt safer in his arms than anywhere i'd ever been in my life.
"Okay." i whispered as a few tears escaped my eye and got on my boyfriend's shirt.
Then lots more.
Soon i was standing there sobbing into Charlie's shoulder. my cries muffled by his sleeve.
A few minutes later, when i could cry no more, i let go and looked down at the floor.
"Sorry for getting your shirt all wet." i laughed, using my hoodie sleeve to dry my face off.
"Its really okay." he smiled.
"If you say so." i smiled back.
"I do say so."
Why did it make me feel so nervous and happy at the same time when he looked at me like that?
A line from my favorite book 'The Great Gatsby' popped into my head.
"He looked at her the way all women wanted to be looked at by a man."
I strongly felt that the boy who stood a few inches away from me bore a perfect example of "that look" upon his face.
"Okay well, i uh... i should probably get cleaned up." i stammered, breaking the silence.
"Okay. i'll wait in the hallway. Yell if you need anything." Charlie nodded and walked away.
I slipped my jeans off and used a damp washcloth found in one of the showers to wipe the excess blood from my thumb and fresh cuts.
"Fuck!..." I muttered, well, shouted as the warm soapy water got in my cuts.
I gritted my teeth and started patting them dry with my hoodie sleeve.
"Are you okay?" I heard Charlie's voice then saw him run back in.
Instantly i felt heat rise to my cheeks and i stood up, pulling my hoodie and shirt both down to cover my scars and my underwear.
"Fine. i was just... it hurt thats all. i'm okay." i stuttered.
"Okay sorry." Charlie nodded, blushing as he backed out into the hallway.
"For fucks sake why am i so awkward?" i muttered then slipped the band aids i'd grabbed out of the back pocket of my jeans which were laying on the floor.
After covering my thumb and fresh wounds i put my jeans back on then walked out, finger combing my whispy blonde hair.
"You good now?" Charlie asked.
He was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.
"Yep." i nodded.
"Catherine and Bill came in a few minutes ago. Bill said he was going to cook brunch and Catherine went to wash the blood out of your sheets." Charlie told me.
"Okay. you hungry?" i asked.
"Starving." he replied.
"Me too. lets go see what Bill is making." i smiled and took his hand in mine as we walked into the dining room.
"Hello lovebirds!" I heard Bill yell from the kitchen in a gameshow announcer kind of way.
Charlie and i turned to see the older, dark haired man walking up in an extremely stained off white apron.
"Afternoon, Bill." i laughed and rolled my eyes little.
"You two honeymooners hungry?" he asked and wiped his hands on the apron.
"We're not honeymooners, Sir." Charlie protested and blushed hot pink.
"But yes we're hungry." i finished for him and sat down at one of the tables.
"What do you guys feel like eating?" Bill asked.
"Only your finest." I replied. trying to humor him.
"Coming right up." he chuckled and walked back into the kitchen.
"What a strange guy." Charlie laughed once Bill was out of earshot.
"What? he ships us." i laughed, smirking little as i leaned against the back of my chair.
"Hell, i ship us. i just wouldn't use silly names." i added.