Thinking...
Thinking of all the times we've cuddled,
hugged,
held each other,
It makes my body feel sore.
Thinking of all the times we've kissed makes my lips hurt.
Thinking about you,
the fact that you're not mine anymore,
hurts me as a whole.
It hurts my heart...
it fucking shatters my heart to pieces.
And trying not to burst into hysterical tears about all this?
It makes me feel the worst fucking depression imaginable.
It hurts like a bitch
I'm not fucking strong enough to deal with this.
I can't handle it
I'd honestly get back together with you.
I don't fucking care.
The only reason I don't,
is because if you did it once,
What makes me so sure you wont do it again?
I would never let you hurt me like that again.
but I will do anything,
to make sure you're happy.
Even if we're not together,
Because that's the type of person I am.
I love you so fucking much.
And you know that.
I feel dead inside.
I just want to run away for a while.
there's a park down the street,
I watched how to get there on the way home.
I just want to run away and get lost.
Sit alone for a week,
and just cry until I physically can't anymore.
Then I'll just lay there.
Lay there until someone finds me and forces me home...
I have a feeling of wanting to die...
I know its an awful thought
but it won't go away...
I'll never do it.
I'd never let myself,
It goes against how I've built myself up
But it still hurts.
"I honestly think we're better as just friends"
"We can still be close friends"
But I want to be more than friends with you.
I want to be yours.
And I want you to be mine.
Just like we used to be,
So happy and in love.
We were the envy of our friends.
We were their "relationship goals"
But "I guess I could respect that if it's what you want"
You say "yes, I'm sure"
So "alright then, from now on were just friends"
I say it but I hope to god we don't mean it.
Its too late now,
Too late to go back.
"We're just friends now"
And that's all we'll ever be now.
It hurts but...
Its what you wanted right?
