Where The Stars Take You (BoyxBoy)

Chapter Six: Lupus

Chapter Six: Lupus

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality.

Iris Murdoch

"You're beautiful."

His words ring out in the meadow like the lines of a beautiful love song. It sound like honey pouring out his mouth. It was more beautiful than the pitter patter of rain hitting the ground. It was soothing. The only two words I ever want to hear again. I could listen to it again and again.

"You're beautiful."

He says it again, and this time it sounds even sweeter. I didn't think it was possible, but his words got even sweeter. It sounds like the chirping of birds on a Sunday morning. It sounds like a chorus of angels in heaven. It's beautiful.

"You're beautiful."

This time I can't even accurately describe how it sounds. Think of the sweetest, most pleasing music, and it was even better than that. His words were beautiful.

"Get up, Lupus."

Just like that the nightmare ended. It was a nightmare, because it was beautiful. I was so sad to wake up. I wish I had never woken up, and had to face him again. The real him, and not the Atlas from my dream. The Atlas that tells me I'm beautiful is gone, and in his place is the one that forces himself upon me, but I smile anyway. I pretend he's the one from my fantasy.

Sweet sweet fantasy baby

When I close my eyes

You come and take me

On and on and on

It's so deep in my daydreams

But it's just a sweet sweet fantasy baby

"Good morning, Atlas. How did you sleep?" I ask. I still care for him deeply. That could be considered sick, but he's my mate forever now. I'm stuck with him, and I will treat him like a king.

"I slept well, love." He adds a kiss for good measure. I think he wants my forgiveness which is nice. He was obviously frustrated yesterday. He needed a release. I forgive him instantly.

"That's good. I was exhausted," I say smiling.

"I can take a guess as to why," he smirks.

The Atlas from yesterday is gone, and in his place is the Atlas I love.

"I got a meeting today. I cleaned you up already in your sleep, so you can hang out here. Do not leave." I nod in understanding. He stands up and shifts into his werewolf form, and then stomps menacingly out.

I look around for my CD player which I find sandwiched between the bed and the wall. It must've fallen off of the bed yesterday when Atlas- I cut myself off. I've forgiven him. There's no need to dwell on the past.

Oh, when you walk by every night

Talking sweet and looking fine

I get kinda hectic inside

Mmm, baby I'm so into you

Darling, if you only knew

All the things that flow through my mind.

Fantasy begins to blast through the headphones, and I smile as I am reminded of my dream from earlier.

"You're beautiful," echoes in my mind almost like a choir is singing it, but it's all in his voice. Atlas has a raspy, testosterone-filled voice. It's sweet.

I'm in heaven

With my boyfriend

My laughing boyfriend

There's no beginning

And there is no end

Feels like I'm dreaming

But I'm not sleeping

I drifted into heaven and didn't hear the stomps until they were right upon me. It was Atlas. I must've been daydreaming a long time.

"Hey, how was your-" Thwack. The surprise was evident on my face.

"Keep that stupid music down. I don't want to hear that shit."

"I'm sorry," I say. "I didn't hear you come back."

"You can't hear shit over that music. Who even is that?"

"It's Mariah Carey!" I exclaim.

"It's shit." My face drops, and I hold back tears. "Are you about to cry?"

I sniffle and shake my head.

"Good. I hate crying."

I sober up, and drift back into my fantasy where I am beautiful.

Sweet sweet fantasy baby

When I close my eyes

You come and you take me

It's so deep in my daydreams

But it's just a sweet, sweet fantasy baby

"You're beautiful." Yes, I am.

"You're beautiful." Yes, I am.

"You're beautiful." Yes, I am.

Suddenly, the daydream morphs into a nightmare, and I hear something hurtful.

"You're weak."

"You're stupid."

You're ugly."

The voices are taunting me, and suddenly I feel caged in. I pull at my clothes and tear them in half. Then I start to work on my hair which easily falls out. I begin to cry, and clutch my ears pleading that the voices stop. Then suddenly I jolt upright in a panic.

I can't even pretend to have a sweet fantasy, because I'm living a horrid nightmare.