On the drive to my condo, (yes I do live in civilization shocking I know) I realized that I should probably call 911 and get that poor creepy logger dude some help. So I dialed 911 to get that lady asking you what the problem is, if you are in a safe place, and assuring me that it will all be okay. Someone should tell the other guy that, he needs it way more than me. She also said to go to the police station for questioning, apparently I just caught their notorious logger serial killer. I'm glad I did because I like my Cheerios way too much for some creepy logger to kill them. I mean really that is some good cereal, with Cheerios life is great. I had to drop by the condo before going to the police, I mean where is my dog to go. Plus I wanted to wash my knife and hands because blood squirts out of arteries due to all that scientific pressure stuff. I parked my jeep in the garage and switched to a nice silver Jetta(I did say my uncle was really rich, right?) then off to the police station to see the cereal [serial] killer, wonder if he survived.
Apparently Mr. Lorgove, the wanna be logger of creepiness, did survive though he is in the hospital with major blood loss and his leg will never be the same again. I'm not really shocked, though I am proud that I called for help in enough time for help to actually help. Now I'm sitting in this amazing gray room with mirrored glass and very uncomfortable metal chairs. I'm waiting for Flint, don't know why but we have wait for Flint.
It took a while for Flint to get here, and when he walked in I immediately started to profile him. He walked in with a flourish, not one too noticeable, just enough to to show a narcissistic personality and huge ego. His coat, very pristine, adds to that. The man is tall and skinny with signs of drug usage. It seems as though he rarely eats, yet is still rather adept at physical activity. On the contrast to physical upkeep he is pristinely dressed and clean shaven. Along with the coat he wears a suit and button up white shirt, though no tie. His hands show nicotine stains, chemical stains, and ink stains. This shows that he not only smokes, but does lots of experiments though he must either roll up his sleeve or wear something else because neither the suit or button up show any signs of these stains. All the while I am profiling him, he is doing the same to me. We both keep a straight face and I hope that his narcissistic personality stops him from perceiving that I too have profiled him. Pulling out the chair opposite of me with a loud scrape, the man sits down and begins with an air of being above and better than me. The only thing that strikes me as weird is that he is lacking in any sort of case file, usually detectives use files to scare people, even if all it contains is blank paper. The first five minutes is a stare down, him being imposing and me just sitting casually, enjoying the nice silence.
"So, Sam Turner, how are you doing?" Flint asked
"Very well Flint, thank you for asking. My dog is doing pretty nicely too."
"You almost killed a man just now, shouldn't you be in a storm of emotions right now."
"Well you see, to my knowledge, he isn't dead and he did try to kill me with a hatchet. To me this is nothing to be emotional about, it seems very cut and dry."
"Interesting, so tell me the story from the top and don't leave out anything important."
"It was a normal day in he woods," I began pausing for effect only to be rudely interrupted by Flint.
"Yes, yes, get the point already." Wow, he is very pushy, has no patience at all.
"Fine, I was carving wood on the porch when that weird logger walked up to me to ask for a ride into town. The guy was wearing an ugly flannel, jeans, had a hatchet on his belt, was extremely skinny, and had hiking boots on. Then, the creepy logger dude explained he was hiking and got lost, but he had no water bottle and thinking about that, he wasn't even wearing sunscreen or bug spray. I told the guy that I didn't have a car and so couldn't give him a ride into town. Then he asks for directions out and I declined again. Somehow this led the weird logger to charge at me with his hatchet held high. I sidestepped, causing him to crash into my chair. He then advanced, much slower and waited for a bit. I think he was building dramatic tension, maybe he's an actor," At this point Flint was getting frustrated with how long I was taking and rolled his eyes at every side comment I made. On the other hand he seemed impressed by my detailed description of the logger and following inferences. "So he finally swings again, but he was stupid and swung diagonally, allowing me to grab his arm, slash the artery and then drop down to cut the tendon just behind his knee. I then ran into my cabin, locking the door automatically, got into my car and left. I called 911 shortly after, went home to my condo, got cleaned up and came here. You are now in the present and can narrate the present, or not, you choose."
Flint looked at me with a bit of disbelief hidden behind false annoyance, I guess he never met anyone quite as wonderful . It took Flint a few seconds in which he took a deep breathe, blinked and cracked his neck, then replied.
"You don't have to continue, I'll just ask you a few questions, this way you can stop wasting my time. What do you do Sam?"
"I don't work, I inherited a lot of money and have it invested in some stock. It's enough to live by, I do sell my wood carvings though, I have a website if you want to see it."
"Lies, you did something at one point. Even if you are retired. Was it the military or perhaps an assassin," hissed Flint.
At this I was shocked, really he thought I would be in the military or even an assassin.
"Wow I can't believe you would think so lowly of me. No I haven't done either of those professions and can honestly say never will." Now Flint didn't seem convinced, I would say 'not that I care' but that usually means that the person who said that cares.
"Well you are too knowledgable about the human body and fighting to have worked in some office job. Plus you aren't dressed all fancy, so you must have worked at one point. You probably traveled a lot or maybe you just really like to order snow globes."
"No on broke my snow globe collection, right. Oh and how did you guys get into my cabin?" I was not too confused, I hadn't really locked it up with full security measures.
Flint was carefully studied my face before,"I picked the lock, not too complicated, you won't sue me right?"
"Sue you? I have way too much money anyways, wouldn't know what to do with it. Plus I'm glad you got into my cabin, makes this so much more exciting."
At is point I think I confused the poor man, he looked around at me shook his head a bit then looked back at the glass and walked out. So I walked up to the glass, waited until he entered and spoke to Flint,"Hey, Flint, do I have to stay in here, I think the gray is bleeding into my vibrant soul." Yes I was being kind and made full eye contact with him through the glass that no one can see through. Now all the people behind the glass were shocked so I just walked out the door and left. If they still needed me they would call. I wonder which phone number I gave them.
