Disabled.

One

One

September

Jackson never got the chance to return from the vacation.

But she did.

And with everyday that passed by, she couldn't help but to feel as if she wasn't supposed to either─as if she had cheated death.

When she had first opened her eyes two days after the accident, the first person she desperately searched for was Jackson. And when she didn't see him, she began to panic, already fearing the worst. But from the looks on her parents' faces, she could tell that her worst nightmare had came true.

But the fact that she had lost Jackson forever didn't hurt as much as it should have compared to when she learned that she would never be able to walk again.

When the doctor had announced it, she had laughed, thinking that it was someone's sick prank. But when no one else laughed along with her, that was when the tears began to fall as the reality set in. At that moment, she felt as if she would have been better off dead; at least then she could be with Jackson.

No matter how many times her parents tried to convince her that she was lucky to be alive, she couldn't stop wishing that she had been able to leave this world with him. And it wasn't only her love for him which caused these thoughts but the fear of being alienated in a world which wasn't catered to disabled people.

It had taken her a long time to accept the fact that no matter how hard she tried, she was meant to survive that accident. Even now, as she sat in her wheelchair behind her vanity in her room, slowly brushing her hair, she couldn't shake those thoughts away.

A knock on the door caused her to put down the hairbrush and turn her wheelchair around to face her mother as she walked into her room. Her mother closed the door behind her and walked towards her, sitting on the chair which matched the vanity; a chair which she no longer had a use for.

"Are you sure you want to go back to school today sweetheart? You can always wait a bit longer before returning," she said. But Nadia shook her head and wheeled herself towards her bed where her backpack lay. She picked it up and placed it on her lap before turning around to face her mother again.

"Waiting to go back isn't going to change anything. Sooner or later, I'll have to go."

Her mother smiled sadly at her words and stood up, nodding her head in understanding. And although she desperately tried to show her that she was ready; inside she was breaking down from fear─fear of the humiliation she would face in her current condition.

Her mother pushed her wheelchair out of her bedroom and into the kitchen where her breakfast was waiting. Since they had returned from their vacation after the accident, she had been moved from her room upstairs to their guestroom on the ground level. And as much as she had loved her old room, it had become useless as soon as her father had pushed her through the front door on the day of their return.

"Morning sweetheart," her father said as soon as he saw her. She forced a smile before she replied, a moment before her mother put her behind her plate of food. She slowly picked up her fork and began to eat the scrambled eggs neatly plated before her.

---

Nadia's phone continued to vibrate as her mother pulled into the student drop-off zone at her school. And as soon as she came to a stop, her heartbeats began to accelerate.

"You're going to be fine," her mother reassured her, gently grabbing her hand as she looked out the window, feeling her fear worsen with each passing second. She slowly nodded her head even though she disagreed with her mother's words.

"Why don't you check your phone? It's been going off for a while now," she heard her mother suggest. She took it from where it lay on her lap and unlocked it to find multiple messages from her friends. Ever since she returned home, she couldn't get herself to reply to any of her friends' messages asking her to hang out with them; she didn't want them to see what had happened to her.  But now, she knew that she could no longer avoid them finding out. She smiled slightly as she read the most recent message.

Nadia this isn't funny anymore. You need to reply to my msgs ASAP. I'm really starting to worry here - Ashley

As she re-read that message, she began to feel more at ease.

They were her friends. And no matter what happened, they would always stay by her side.

"Feeling better now?" her mother asked. She turned her head to face her and smiled slightly.

"Yeah, I think I'll be alright after all."

"That's good to hear."

They exchanged their goodbyes before she wheeled herself down the ramp of the accessible van, looking at the building where many great memories had occurred. She took in a deep breath and began to push herself towards the entrance, suddenly feeling clueless as to why she had been worried at all.

But that feeling didn't last.

Because as soon as she entered the school and felt everyone's eyes on her, she could tell that she had been right to worry. But even with that thought in mind, there was a small part of her which held the hope of  her assumptions being wrong.

She ignored the stares as she pushed herself towards the spot where her friends and she usually met on the first day of school. It was a staircase by the gym where they always discussed their summer adventures until the bell rang and they had to go to their homerooms.

She turned a corner and felt her lips turn into a large smile as she spotted her friends chatting away. She pushed herself closer and gained their attention when she called out to them.

"Hey guys."

They all turned around and looked at her.

At first, she thought that they were playing a joke on her. But just like the reality of losing her ability to walk, it was no joke.

"Do we know you?" Chris─her name was actually Christie but they called her Chris─said, looking disgusted. She felt as if there was a lump in her throat as she choked out a reply.

"It's me, Nadia."

***

~candysweet101

[edited - 2019/06/27]